


A City’s Tale

by lea_ysaye



Series: Town & Country [1]
Category: Actor RPF, Norman Reedus - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, The Boondock Saints RPF, The Walking Dead RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Time, Friendship, Het, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Kissing, M/M, Mary Sue, Neighbors, New Relationship, On Purpose, There will be a sequel, came a bit sooner than planned, can I ever not make him hurt?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-05 06:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5364977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_ysaye/pseuds/lea_ysaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new neighbor moves into one of the apartments on Norman's floor and the two of them get to know each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an experiment. I don't usually write het, and I certainly don't write Mary Sues. But I wanted to give it a go. On purpose, to see what happens. :)
> 
> I doubt there'll be much graphic sex here (ok I wrote a little sex, but it's pretty tame and totally vanilla), and I'm trying not to make the story cringe-worthy. The point is not to make the character based on me into the perfect woman. It's more a "Could he fall in love with an ordinary-ish person" sort of thing.
> 
> My real name isn't Lea, but I gotta call her something so that name will do nicely.
> 
> I'm also curious if anyone will read it, and what y'all think. :)
> 
> Let me reiterate: This is fanfiction. Not real. Made up. Not a manual on how to meet a celebrity either. I don't know Norman, or any celebs. Please remember where reality ends and fiction starts. And don't bite strangers. Ever.

She stepped out of the lift to a weird sound, like humming. No, not humming. Purring. Looking around her she spotted a black cat in the crevice by the radiator on the wall opposite the elevators.

“Hey, who’re you, hmm…?”

Big, shiny cat eyes stared at her out of the gloom, jet-black body obscured in the shadows.

“You running away, huh?”

She crouched down and held out a hand. For a moment she thought the cat would hiss at her. But then it slowly slunk over, belly close to the ground. Oddly, it was still purring.

Truth be told, she wasn’t really a cat person. Though this one was pretty cute, she had to admit. Big and fluffy, maybe a little on the chubby side. Well cared for, certainly. Of course, in this house… And whoever it belonged to was probably looking for it. So she picked it up.

The elevators servicing the two apartments on this floor as well as the penthouse were hidden away in a nook off to one side of the hallway. As she stepped out from that little space now, cat hanging relaxed in her arms, the door at the very end of the hallway opened. She looked up at the man now peering through it.

“Eye? Man, if you slipped out, I’ll… shit… oh…”

He spotted her, standing by the elevators. She felt a tad foolish, certain she knew the answer already, but she still had to ask.

“He yours?”

She nodded at the cat in her arms, who had somehow wriggled onto his back, lolling, looking at her with those weird, slitted eyes.

“Yeah, he is… little fucker… Sorry!”

She smiled at his embarrassment.

“He gave you the slip?”

The man nodded, and as she walked toward him she took a closer look. Dark brown hair almost to his collar. Broad shoulders in a soft fleece zip-up jacket. Blue eyes, on her now, and somehow uncertain. She had the odd feeling that he was looking at her as if trying to figure out if he knew her.

As she drew close she stretched out her arms full of cat, unsure how to disentangle the furry creature and deciding to let him sort that out. He hesitated for a moment, then reached over with both hands and took the cat from her. His gaze when he nodded his thanks were strangely shy and awkward. She noticed that he was hardly taller than herself.

“Thanks a lot.”

“No problem.”

His smile was sweet now, relieved, as he shifted the cat who crawled halfway up his left shoulder. They seemed to have that routine down pat. He stretched out his right hand.

“I’m Norman.”

She just managed to suppress the urge to say “I know”. Instead she took his offered hand and shook it.

“I’m Lea. Nice to meet you.”

Norman gestured vaguely behind himself.

“D’you wanna come in for a coffee?”

Inwardly cursing herself for the hundred things she’d agreed to do that day she reluctantly shook her head.

“I can’t, sorry. Gotta be somewhere really soon…”

“Oh, ok… maybe another time…”

“Definitely.”

He was still looking at her, and the intense gaze was starting to make her feel uneasy. Maybe he noticed because a second later he lowered his eyes and took a couple of steps back, into his apartment. She half turned to retrace her steps to the door furthest from his.

“See you later.”

He gave a little one-handed wave and she nodded at him, digging in her bag for the keys. The door behind her closed just as she located them at the very bottom of her purse. She stopped for a moment.

So that was him. Norman Reedus.


	2. Chapter 2

“You can fuck off then, asshole!”

The voice was so loud, so… penetrating that Lea froze on the spot, mug of tea in her hand, hovering near the door. She waited, listened. Another voice now, male, lower, and she couldn’t make out what it said. She considered. Back home in London, opening the door onto your neighbor’s domestic argument would’ve been the last thing she’d want to do. But this wasn’t London. And she had a feeling she knew who that second voice belonged to.

She put her tea on the hall table, opened the front door and stepped out.

And was roughly shoved to one side by a tall, leggy woman with a face like thunderclouds. Stalking past the woman threw one long, scathing look behind herself. She ignored Lea, instead looking daggers at someone behind her while Lea gaped.

“Piss off, you loser!”

Finally her eyes alighted on Lea and, looking her up and down, the woman actually gave a derisive snort. Then she raised one hand, middle finger outstretched. Stunned now, Lea looked around and, unsurprisingly, saw Norman standing in his own door. He looked… well, Lea didn’t know what he looked like, exactly. Embarrassed? Upset? Relieved? Amused?

A bit of all of that?

When Lea looked back the other way the tall woman had disappeared. She heard the ping of the elevator and felt a strange sense of anticlimax.

“You ok?”

That he would ask her if she was ok startled Lea from her daze and she turned around. Norman still stood in the doorway. Pulling her own door almost closed she moved toward him.

“I’m fine. Are you, though?”

As she drew near she noticed what looked like a bloody scratch high on Norman’s left cheek. Lea scanned his face. He looked oddly… pinched, like he was in pain. He also looked very pale. She gestured at the small wound.

“Did she actually scratch you?”

Norman raised his hand and touched the spot without thinking, then winced.

“I think that was Eye. He hates fighting. So do I…”

“Shall I look at it for you?” And then, when he hesitated, she added, “I’m a doctor.”

He gave a small nod and she quickly went back to her apartment, grabbed her keys from the hall table and her kit bag from the floor, then pulled the door closed behind herself.

Norman stepped aside to let her into his apartment, then led the way up a flight of stairs. Lea looked around curiously, but then tried to focus on the task in hand – if she was to look at his injury, minor as it might be, she had to behave like a professional first – but it was hard not to feel deeply fascinated.

The penthouse was sparsely furnished, and her first thought was “stereotypical bachelor pad”. She knew Norman had a son – Carmine had told her – but there were no toys lying around. The son must either be older, or not living with his dad. Carmine hadn’t been very specific.

At the top of the internal staircase Norman turned to her.

“Where, uh, d’you want me?”

She looked around, taking in the generous living space, then pointed to two sofas standing at right angles.

“There. Lots of light. Sit in the corner so I can face you.”

He obliged and led the way over, and they both sat down. She looked at the scratch on his cheek. It didn’t look deep and had stopped bleeding. Lea bent over her bag and pulled out iodine, cotton swabs and small band aids, which she placed on the coffee table before her. Then she pulled on disposable gloves.

“It doesn’t look too bad, hardly needs my attention. But since I’m here…”

He grinned as she gently tilted his head toward her with one hand on his chin.

“Bill me only for your time, then.”

She looked at him, confused for a moment. Then it dawned on her. A joke.

“I’m not even a private doctor, you know. I work in A&E… I mean, an ER…”

“You from England? I thought your accent was English, but… not quite…”

“Germany, originally. Via London, though, yeah…”

“I like that,” he smiled. “Over there, you don’t pay for healthcare, do you?”

“Not at point of care, no. It’s paid through National Insurance contribution.”

“Much better, really. Wish we had that here… our system’s not very fair…”

He looked a bit wistful as she dabbed at the scratch with iodine. Then he winced and flinched away a little.

“Sorry…”

She picked up a small band aid from the table and placed it carefully on Norman’s cheek.

“There, all done.”

“Thanks… hey, you got time for that coffee now? Since you don’t wanna bill me…”

“Sure,” she said as she pulled off the gloves. He got up, glancing at the gloves and used cotton swabs.

“I got no medical waste recycling bin…”

“Household waste is fine,” she smiled and got up too after replacing the unused supplies in her bag.

“Over here.”

He motioned to the kitchen counter as he stepped around it to the gleaming espresso machine.

“Latte? Espresso? Americano…?”

“Latte please. Two shots.”

He turned around and grinned at her.

“Yeah, you’re a doc, all right. Two-shot latte coming up. Half fat milk ok?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Lea disposed of the rubbish in a trashcan under the kitchen counter.

“Do you mind if I go and wash my hands? Feels wrong not to…”

Norman motioned. “Down the hallway, first door on the left.”

Walking down the hallway Lea looked at the photographs on the walls. Several of them showed a blond child, growing older as she walked. That had to be the son. In one picture he was clearly a teenager already. That answered one of her many questions, at least.

She quickly washed her hands in the expensive-looking guest bathroom, unable to resist brushing her short hair with her fingers a few times.

_ Ugh, get a grip. You’re having coffee with a neighbor… _

She dried her hands and left the bathroom.

When she came back Norman was putting the finishing touches on two steaming mugs, piled high with froth. He handed one to her.

“Thanks.” Lea took a sip. “Nice. I’ve always wanted one of these machines.”

Norman nodded. “They’re great. Saves me running to Starbucks every five minutes, that’s for sure.”

Lea looked around her. Now that she was done patching up Norman’s cut she thought she could allow herself to show some curiosity. She motioned at more photographs behind the dinner table and moved closer to inspect them. He followed behind her.

“You take these?”

“Most of them, yeah. That one there, with the soldiers, that was in Russia. I went for work. That one,” he pointed, catching her looking with fascination at a large photograph of a woman tied up like a hog roast, covered in dust, “is an old girlfriend.”

“Interesting pose.” She tilted her head, then looked at him. “That current one, she in any of them?”

He looked confused for a moment, but then it clicked. “Oh, Ce… I mean, no, and no. She’s not current, not been for a long while…”

“She’s got a bit of a temper…”

“Yeah, she does.” He avoided her gaze now, and Lea felt annoyed with herself for bringing it up. But she had something else she really wanted to get out. “Look, I gotta say this before it drives me mad… I know you’re famous…”

Now Norman’s eyes were back on her for a second, but darker, somehow. He didn’t say anything. She pressed on. In for a penny…

“Carmine, my, well, landlord for now, I suppose… He told me you’re an actor, and that you’re on a TV show with zombies. I don’t watch much TV, I haven’t seen it, sorry… It’s just real weird, I don’t know any famous people…”

Norman smiled. “No need to apologize.”

“I just didn’t want to pretend I didn’t know, you see…”

Norman’s eyes in hers were warm, and oddly, full of gratitude.

“Thank you. That’s nice…”

“Sure… Norman, are you ok?”

For he had suddenly closed his eyes and gripped the back of the nearest chair hard. Lea was torn. Should she help? Would it be forward to give him a hand? But then her instincts took over and she stepped close, first taking the coffee out of his hand and putting it on the dining table together with her own. Then she took him firmly by the elbow and led him back to the sofas.

“Here. Sit.”

He did as he was told, and she sat next to him, looking at him searchingly. He’d gone even paler and now pressed the palm of his hand hard against his left temple.

“What is it?”

He squinted around at her, and his left eye was oddly out of focus.

“Migraine…”

“You got meds for it here? I’ll get them for you…”

“There’s Aleve in the kitchen… Right-hand top cupboard.”

She fetched it for him together with a glass of water, and as she returned to his side she shook two pills out of the little bottle.

“Take these now, then rest until they take effect. And you should eat something with them soon, too…”

“Yeah, they make my stomach hurt. I only got them a few weeks ago. New neurologist.”

Norman threw the pills back, wincing, and washed them down with some water. Then he stretched out on the sofa, and she grabbed some cushions from the other one for his head. Just as she was adjusting them for him to lie on there came a purring sound from down by her feet.

“Look who’s here.”

Norman glanced up at her as the cat jumped onto the sofa and curled up by his side.

“Eye knows when I’m in pain. He doesn’t like to cuddle much during the day, but he always comes when my head hurts.”

“He’s a good friend, then. You call him Eye?”

“It’s Eye in the Dark, but that’s a mouthful…”

Norman groaned and buried his face in the sofa cushions. Lea looked over to the large windows, trying and failing to spot anything that would allow her to darken the room.

“Maybe you should go to bed? It’s awfully bright in here…”

“It’s ok. I’ll be fine once the meds kick in.”

“If you’re sure…”

“Yeah… thanks for your help.”

“No problem. Listen, I’ve got to be at the hospital soon. Will you be ok on your own?”

“Sure. I’m used to it…”

She didn’t like the way that sounded, but didn’t say anything. Instead, she retrieved their mugs from the dining table and washed them in the kitchen sink, placing them on the draining board afterwards. Then she returned to the sofa to retrieve her kit.

Lea hesitated for a moment, then shifted the cat slightly, sat down by Norman’s side again and opened the bag, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen.

“I’ll write down my mobile… I mean, my cell phone number for you. Just in case you need anything, ok?”

He opened his eyes a crack and smiled up at her. “Thanks. You’re nice…”

“Oh, that’s just the Hippocratic oath, it pokes through sometimes. Don’t let it fool you.”

That made him give a weak chuckle, which he quickly stifled with a groan, pressing his hand against the side of his head again. She frowned, placing her own hand on top of his.

“Try and sleep. Best medicine there is.”

“True. I will…”

Lea got up after placing the paper with her number on the table.

“I’ll see you later. If it gets worse, let me know. I’ll think of something.”

“Will do… hope work’s ok. Thanks again.”

“No problem. Bye.”

Lea looked down at Norman for a moment, but then forced herself to move away. She retraced her steps down the stairs and let herself out of his front door. As she returned to her own apartment she felt conflicted. Had she gone too far? Should she have really given him her number? What would he think of her when his head stopped hurting and he saw a random woman’s number on his coffee table?


	3. Chapter 3

“Hello?”

“Hey, is that Lea?”

“Yes… who’s that?”

“It’s Norman. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah… don’t worry about it… you ok? It’s 2am…”

“My head’s real bad tonight. Those stupid pills, they’re not doing anything…”

“You at home?”

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Yes. Shall I come over?”

“Would you? I’m real sorry…”

“It’s ok. Give me ten minutes.”

“Thanks.”

*

Lea threw on some clothes, frowning. What would he expect her to do? She thought for a moment, then crouched down and pulled out a second medical kit from under her bed. From it she selected several small vials, then hesitated.

This was most likely a terrible idea. But if she wanted to help Norman did she have any other choice?

Straightening up and pushing the kit back under the bed she sighed. Why would she even risk this for a virtual stranger? Well, there was just one answer to that question.

He was Norman Reedus, and he was damn cute.

*

Norman looked really miserable as he opened the door on her knock. Wearing an old, faded t-shirt and sweatpants, his eyes looked puffy and his face was pale and sweaty.

"How're you feeling?"

She hardly needed to ask. He squinted even against the dim night light from the hallway, looking shaky.

"Been better...”

"I bet. C'mon, let's get you lying down..."

She ushered him inside and closed the door behind them. This time they didn't climb the stairs. Instead, she followed Norman into a bedroom very dimly lit by a small night light.

"You can turn the light on if you need to..."

She watched him as he slowly crossed the room on naked feet and crawled onto the bed.

"Not necessary, I can see well enough. And you look like this is too much light for you already."

"Not wrong," he sighed and sank into the pillows. As he stretched out on his back Lea walked around to the window facing side of the bed and sat down next to him. Norman had flung the back of his left hand across his forehead and eyes, and she now moved that arm away.

Placing her own hand to his forehead instead, then each of his temples in turn she frowned.

"The left side of your face is so much warmer…strange…"

"I got a metal eye socket on that side."

"How come?"

"Car accident, ten years ago." He squinted up at her. "In Germany."

"Really? Is this only now giving you trouble?"

"More'n it used to. Went to see a new neurologist cos the headaches’ve gotten worse this year."

“Have you been sick tonight?”

“Once, yeah.”

“Since when have you been like this?”

“It never really went away since she… since you were here a couple days ago. But until tonight it was bearable…”

She felt for the pulse in his neck, then withdrew her fingers as he gave her an odd look. "Sorry, professional habit. But I'd like to take your blood pressure if that's ok?"

"Sure."

She got the machine from her bag and pushed the cuff up Norman’s outstretched arm. He closed his eyes again as the cuff inflated. Lea waited for the numbers on the little screen, then made a note of them and pressed reset. When the cuff inflated again he opened his eyes, looking at her questioningly.

"Best out of three."

"You're thorough, huh?"

"Never had any private patients. Just making sure."

"Put it on my tab."

He closed his eyes again and she could tell he was hurting a lot, despite the banter. She wondered just how much of what she'd seen of him was the real Norman, and how much was an act at any given time. Then she felt mean for being so cynical.

When the machine had beeped and deflated for the third time she pulled the cuff off. Norman opened his eyes.

“What’s the verdict, doc?”

"A little high, but that's to be expected with that amount of pain." She folded the cuff and put the machine in her lap. "Right, truth time. Why did you call me? What do you think I can do for you?"

He looked abashed, but didn’t answer, and suddenly she felt extremely sorry for him. Norman was in pain. She knew he hadn't called her up because he wanted a quick high. He was hurting, and he hoped she could make him feel better. Lea sighed.

"You're hoping I got some pain meds for you, right?"

There was a small pause in which he wouldn't meet her eye. Then, "Yeah..."

"And you called me instead of going to an ER so that the press wouldn't find out."

"'s everyone with a phone these days, not just press..."  
  
"Right, well... Who is your neurologist?"

"She's called Rachel White. She's with the pain clinic at Columbia."

"Do they have an out of hours service?"

"Yeah... She's probably working tonight."

"And you didn't call her because..."

"She's not, well... Her meds make me feel awful."

"Hmm. All right, this is what I can do. I call her now, ask her some questions. If I like the answers I give you a one-off dose of strong painkillers. But I'll also make an appointment for you to see her asap. Deal?"

"Deal." He sounded apprehensive and not a little embarrassed. “Number’s in my phone. Back pocket, over there…”

Norman pointed at his jeans lying crumpled on a chair. Lea got up and went over to get the phone. She took it back to the bed and handed it over. Squinting, he typed in the passcode. Then he closed his eyes, and his arm went back over them with a groan.

“Let me do it.”

Lea frowned down at the phone when he handed it over. She was an Android user herself, and didn’t have the first clue about iPhones. Eventually she located the phone book and scrolled through what seemed to be hundreds of numbers.

Then it hit her, and she froze. More than a few of the names in the list scrolling past were familiar to her. She’d seen these people.

In movies and on TV…

“’s alphabetical by last name…”

Norman squinted up at her, pain clouding his blue eyes. Lea realized he had no inkling just how utterly bizarre this experience was for her.

“Sorry it’s taking so long, Apple’s so confusing…”

“’s all right…”

He sounded half asleep now, and Lea threw him a worried, nervous look. Then, there, on the little screen, finally:  _White, Rachel MD_

Lea pressed the dial button. The phone rang half a dozen times, and she was getting ready to hang up, when someone finally picked up.

“Hello?”

“Dr. White?”

“Yes. Who’s this? It says this is Norman’s number…”

“It is. I… well, my name’s Lea… Dr. Winters. I’m an ER physician at Langone, and I’m Norman’s neighbor. He’s currently suffering from a severe migraine attack…”

“I see. Can he come up and see us?”

“No, he really can’t travel. I’m calling to discuss a possible rescue treatment for tonight. You can talk to him if you want to check I really am who I say I am?”

“Yes, I’ll have to do that before I say anything else.”

Lea tapped Norman lightly on the arm with the phone and he stretched out his hand. She placed the phone into it and he brought it to his ear. Without opening his eyes Norman listened to the doctor, and Lea listened to his side of the conversation.

“Yes, it is… hmm, yeah… Yes, she does. Ok, yes, thanks, Dr. White…” He held the phone up again. “She’s happy that you are who you say you are.”

Lea took the phone. “Dr. White.”

“All right, doctor. What’s your suggestion?”

“A one-off dose of point five milligrams of Dilaudid IV. It’s the best thing I got on me. And he’ll come to see you as soon as he can, to discuss more appropriate long-term medication. The Aleve is doing very little for his pain.”

“Sounds acceptable. Have you checked his BP?”

“142 over 96.”

“Could be worse… and I can confirm there are no contraindicators to opiates in his medical history. As for the appointment, ask him if he can do tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. Providing he can travel.”

Lea relayed the message and Norman nodded.

“He says that’s fine.”

“Good. I’ll see him tomorrow then. Good night, Dr. Winters.”

“Good night,” Lea replied, but the doctor had already hung up. She thumbed the phone off.

“Charming…”

“She is, yeah… scary woman.”

Lea couldn’t quite suppress a giggle as Norman rolled his eyes at her, but then his face contorted into a grimace of pain and she quickly put the phone on the bedside table. Lea pulled her kit close and began preparing the injection.

“Ok, before we do this I gotta explain a few things. I’ll give you a one-off dose of a strong opioid narcotic. It’s the best I got here. Norman…” He opened his eyes at her serious tone, and she held his gaze, unsmiling now. It was important that he understood. “This is an emergency measure only. This medication isn’t meant to treat migraine headaches, or any kinds of headaches, really. It’s just so you can sleep, and be pain free for a while. You need to have your meds reviewed, but I’m no specialist and can’t do that. Ok?”

“Ok…”

He looked so defeated now, her heart went out to him. She hardly knew him at all, but he seemed a decent guy, sweet and unassuming, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be in this kind of pain. Now she was glad that she had it in her power to make him feel a little better. Before she could overthink it she put her gloved hand out and squeezed his shoulder gently.

“Let’s do this.”

She took his right arm again and put the tourniquet on it. She found a vein easily and picked up the syringe, but then lowered it again.

“Almost forgot… do you need the loo before I do this? You’ll be pretty out of if for the rest of the night, and I don’t want you to fall over in the dark, or hit your head on the bathroom cabinet…”

He smiled at her despite the pain. “You’ve lived in England for too long…”

Realizing what he meant Lea felt herself blush. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be. It’s cute. I work with some people from England, they’re so funny… and no, I don’t need  _the loo_ ,” he stressed the last few words and grinned again, “I’ve just been.”

“All right then. And you don’t have to be anywhere first thing tomorrow? Or today, rather…”

“No, just Dr. White now. I cancelled everything. Oh, turn my phone off? They can all go to voicemail...”

“Sure, will do that before I leave. I’ll stick  around for half an hour or so to monitor you. Point five is a pretty small dose, nothing should go wrong, but just in case…”

“Always the perfectionist,” he sighed theatrically. Then he lifted his arm. “C’mon, doc, don’t let me beg for the good stuff…”

Lea could see the pain under the banter, suppressed, controlled by an iron will. Her heart hurt at the thought. What a strange life it must be, to become so good at putting on a show when in pain and miserable…

“Ok, here goes.”

Norman looked away as Lea inserted the needle into his vein. He had good veins, she had no trouble with the injection. Slowly she pushed the plunger on the syringe down, watching Norman’s face carefully. As the instructions indicated she took her time with the medication, and when the last bit disappeared down the needle his features were already starting to relax.

“That’s it. How do you feel?”

“Hmmm… floaty…”

“Good. Go to sleep now. I’ll be here a little while, but you’ll be fine.”

He smiled, regarding her from under heavy eyelids. His hand felt for hers on the bed between them, and when he found it he brought it up to cradle it against his chest.

“Thanks, doc…”

And with that he was out like a light. His hand was still holding hers against his chest, and she could feel his heart beating steadily, his chest slowly rising and falling.

Lea didn’t move from the spot by his side for quite some time, trying not to wake him again, until her arm started to fall asleep. But what, she thought, was that little discomfort compared to the fact that Norman Reedus had fallen asleep holding her hand?


	4. Chapter 4

It was two weeks before Lea heard from Norman again. She had contemplated knocking on his door several times when her eyes wandered down the hall as she arrived back from work. But she had desisted. He was probably busy. Or maybe he was embarrassed by the whole thing.

But she kept thinking about him, and her eye kept wandering down the hall. She tried to tell herself it was only natural. He’d been her patient, after all, even if just for one evening. Finally, however, she had to admit it to herself. She liked him. He was cute, and sweet. And, goddammit, he was sexy. She really wanted to see him again.

On the night when she’d given him the pain meds she’d stayed true to her words. When after 45 minutes it was clear that his breathing and heartbeat weren’t compromised by the narcotics she’d let herself out of his apartment, making sure Eye stayed inside, which was no mean feat. Only when she’d returned to her own bed and lain down in the dark did it occur to her how much Norman had trusted her that night. She knew a little about Norman’s fans now - she did know how to use google, after all - and that had been enough to realize there were thousands, if not millions, of women (and men, she’d been interested to learn) who’d give their right arm to be in his home unsupervised.

Of course, that knowledge would have made no difference one way or the other. She’d been a doctor long enough to put patient trust paramount.

*

Then, when she’d thought Norman had pretty much given up on her, and work had become even busier than usual, and she’d go days without even thinking about him, she got a text from the same number he’d called her from on the night of the migraine attack.

_ Am out of town til Thurs. U free Fri? Friend’s exhibition is opening. Wanna come? _

She did her best not to reply straight away, both to avoid seeming too eager and because she truly was unsure what this was. A date? A thank you? An “I need to bring someone so the fans leave me alone”? Lea didn’t know, and it made her slightly nervous. But then she decided that it hardly mattered. Here was her chance to see him.

Hiding in the staff changing rooms at the end of her shift she pulled out her phone.

_ Definitely. What time? _

The reply came quickly.

_ Be ready for 8pm. There’ll be booze and food. It’s real close. _

Feeling silly, heart beating in her throat, she typed another text with fumbling fingers.

_ Stupid question: What 2 wear? _

Again the delay was very short.

_ Come naked, nobody will care. I’ll wear my rattiest tee. Srsly, rly lo key. Maybe 20 random ppl he knows… _

She had to giggle. Norman Reedus had just told her to attend a gallery opening with him in the buff. Of course it had been a joke, but it made her grin every time she thought about it for the rest of the week.

Then a thought struck her. What if it hadn’t been a joke?

*

“You didn’t come naked…”

It was said in a mock-accusatory tone. Norman stood in his doorway grinning at her. Lea felt goosebumps erupt all over. He’d remembered the silly joke! She gave a slightly shaky grin back.

“I can go and, uh… change? But nobody will want to see that…”

“Maybe later. And I’m sure that’s not true.”

Her heart was somewhere in her throat. Was she really discussing ending the evening naked with a celebrity?

Lea mentally shook herself.  _Get a grip, doc…_  Norman now stepped through the door, pulled it closed and locked it. Then he looked at her again. Lea thought that in anyone else this would have been a casual glance, but somehow Norman managed to give her the feeling that he was really  _seeing_ her, even in this half second once-over.

“You look nice.”

Now she couldn’t help blushing. How was she expected to stay cool and collected all evening with that sort of thing going on?

“Not too chic? Or too shabby? I really don’t know…”

The truth was, she’d gone out specially and bought the black, knee-length dress she was wearing, even though she couldn’t really afford it. Her grant was generous, but not excessive. And there were so many expenses coming up…

But when she’d looked at her wardrobe after the texts with Norman she’d panicked. There was nothing even remotely appropriate in there. Before moving she’d thoroughly weeded through her clothes. It had been necessary anyway; she’d finally managed to lose quite a bit of weight. But what with the move and the new job she hadn’t had time to replace everything yet.

Even now, in the new black dress that was way over the monthly clothes budget she allowed herself, she felt frumpy. Norman had been true to his word, wearing an old t-shirt and faded jeans, carrying a rather worn-looking jacket in one hand. But Lea remembered the long-haired leggy woman who had stalked from his apartment mere weeks ago. She’d seen in her google trawls that that was exactly the sort of women Norman usually was surrounded by. No clothes, or diets, would ever make her look remotely like that. Even if she’d had the right genes, a body at 35 could never be a body at 23 again…

“It’s nice, really,” Norman said, pressing the elevator button, startling Lea from her musings. She hadn’t even realized they’d moved down the hall. “You’ll see, nobody cares.”

He smiled reassuringly at her then, correctly interpreting her nervous silence. “It’s not gonna be Hollywood hi soc tonight. More New York bohemian trash…”

She had to laugh. “If that’s supposed to make me feel better… well, it doesn’t. Both are Greek to me. How about I just nod and smile and hide behind someone? Works at our department’s Christmas do, and New York can’t be that different from London…”

He laughed and put a hand briefly in the small of her back as the lift arrived. It gave her goose bumps again as she stepped through the doors into the elevator.

“You said it’s not far…”

“Couple blocks, yeah. You can walk that far?”

She lifted one foot, showing off her flat ballerina shoes. Lea liked her feet without reservation, and they did look cute in the flower-patterned shoes, one of the few flashier wardrobe items she’d not discarded before coming over from England.

“I work 12-hour shifts on my feet. I could walk all the way to Harlem…”

“I’d forgotten you do… sure, let’s walk to Harlem sometime. Good jazz up there. You like jazz?”

“I can honestly say, I haven’t got a clue…”

“We’ll have to find out then. That’s a date, jazz in Harlem.”

Lea’s heart picked up a notch again. At this rate she’d have a cardiac incident before they even made it to the gallery. Time to move the conversation into safer waters.

“Hey, how’s your head?”

“Not bad, actually.”

“Did you see Dr. White?”

“I did, yeah. Got new drugs. We’ll see…”

He seemed not keen on talking about it. Was he embarrassed? Or…

“You know this will never reach anyone else’s ears, right?”

Norman gave a wry smile as they stepped onto the pavement.

“That Hippocratic oath again?”

“Yes,” Lea said, keeping her eyes on him, “and common decency.”

That got her a reaction. Norman’s eyes were in hers, and his gaze was incredibly soft and kind, but also strangely sad.

“You got no idea how rare that is these days…”

She kept her voice very low as she replied. “I’m sorry that that’s your reality, Norman.”

Lea briefly allowed her shoulder to touch his as they stood waiting for the traffic lights to change. He sighed and looked down. Then his arm came around her shoulder and he gave her a brief hug. Lea felt butterflies in her stomach.

Conversation. Anything, now, to distract her from the arm she could still feel even though he’d withdrawn it as soon as the green man appeared and they started walking again. Now it was Norman who changed the subject.

“Show is at my friend Jake’s gallery. I had some photos there earlier in the year, but this new show’s just his stuff.” Norman stopped and pulled out his phone. “We’ll meet up with a couple people beforehand, hang on.”

Norman pressed several buttons on his phone, then turned away slightly. Lea felt apprehensive. A couple people? What was this? But she merely stepped aside into the shadows of a bodega’s awning, to give him privacy while he briefly conversed with someone. Then he thumbed his phone off and returned it to his pocket, smiling at her.

“All set. C’mon, they’re meeting us down the block.”

They walked on, not touching. Lea wasn’t entirely sure she didn’t just imagine it, but a change seemed to be coming over Norman. He became stiller, somehow more controlled. He didn’t speak now, or look at her much. The vibe she got from him wasn’t unfriendly, though. Lea thought he seemed more professional, even though she could hardly pin down what had changed.

A small gaggle of people were waiting at the next corner, and they all turned toward them as they approached. Lea felt the curious gaze of half a dozen pairs of eyes on her, and she nervously tugged her dress down.

Why were they staring so?

Before Lea could give in to the growing urge to just turn around and run away, a tall woman in her fifties approached her and held out a hand.

“I’m Joanne…”

Lea took the offered hand automatically.

“I’m Lea. Nice to meet you…”

Joanne’s grip was firm and her green eyes piercing as she shook Lea’s hand.

“Aren’t you adorable?”

Uncertain whether she was being insulted or complimented Lea glanced at Norman, who smiled at her slightly but didn’t say anything. None of the other people introduced themselves, or said a word to Lea. She noticed how tall three of the other men were, and how they now flanked Norman. Without further explanation they set off down the pavement, followed by the last two members of their odd group – a man and a woman holding hands.

A strong arm came around Lea’s shoulder and she almost flinched away. Joanne, holding her firmly and steering her after the others, leaned her head down conspiratorially.

“So, Lea, you from England?”

“Yeah…”

“How wonderful! What do you do?”

“I’m a doctor… Joanne, what’s…”

“Not now, darling. He’ll explain it all later.”

Lea, bemused and not a little alarmed by this turn of events, let herself be led down the street. Eventually they turned into a side street and walked right toward a brightly lit gallery.

A gaggle of people were waiting outside, and Lea watched with astonishment and growing disquiet as the crowd surged toward Norman who had almost reached them now, still flanked by the tall men. Hadn’t he said this was a private event?

When Norman reached the crowd Lea momentarily thought she’d gone blind. Camera and cell phone flashlights suddenly erupted from all directions, bathing everything in a crazy, phosphorous glow. Then people started shouting, pushing in, clamoring, repeating Norman’s name over and over.

Now Lea was glad about Joanne’s arm around her. Somehow, being jostled like they were riding in a boat on choppy seas, they made it through the crowd after Norman and the others and through the door. Joanne still wouldn’t let go, however. She steered Lea down toward the very end of the long, narrow space, only relinquishing her grip as they reached Norman’s side.

“Maybe,” Lea heard Joanne say in a low voice to Norman, flashing her a quick look, “ _this_  wasn’t such a good idea after all…”

Then, without waiting for a reply she turned toward a passing waiter and took two glasses of champagne from his tray. She passed one of the glasses to Lea with a wolfish grin.

“Here, you look like you need a bit of liquid courage…”

Lea took the glass and drank gratefully. Joanne wasn’t wrong, she’d needed that. When she looked again the woman had disappeared. Lea spotted her across the room a second later, chatting to some expensively clad people.

“Sorry about all of that.” Norman’s voice in her ear was very quiet. Lea looked around, and his blue eyes were worried and apologetic.

“What… what was that, just now?”

Lea gestured vaguely toward the front of the gallery, where people were still visible, congregating on the pavement. “You said it’d be twenty random people he knows…”

“Word got out…” Norman sounded miserable. “That’s why I arranged for Joanne and the others to meet us. I’d already promised Jake I’d be here…”

“But why… I mean, if it’d become inconvenient you could’ve just told me not to come?”

“You wanted to come though, didn’t you? I didn’t want to disappoint you…”

Lea stared at him. His face plainly showed his confusion. A confusion she shared, but she had an inkling that there’d been a misunderstanding here.

“I… I thought you’d want this, go out, be seen, make interesting friends…”

The inkling that he’d misunderstood her intentions entirely was growing stronger, and she didn’t care for the implications of that at all.

Lea looked around at all the beautiful and stylish people milling about, then back at Norman, and her heart went heavy for him. Was this what usually happened? The women – no, girls, she corrected herself, looking around her – expected him to bring them to events like this? To be shown off? To  _make interesting friends_?

“You were trying to give me a treat, weren’t you?” she asked quietly. “You thought it’d have to be this, or I’d be disappointed…”

He was still gazing at her, really looking miserable now. “Isn’t this why you agreed to come? To see something like this?”

And Lea realized just how vast the gulf between their lives was. A small voice of despair and sadness, well known to her as a warning, seemed to whisper in her ear:  _This is never going to work. Look at you. This isn’t your world. And look at him. He expects you to be grateful for this…_

But the truth was that Lea could see no such expectations, no demand for anything in Norman’s eyes, which still gazed at her with worry. He looked strangely lost, and Lea suddenly realized that he had no idea how enormously their expectations of the evening had varied. She knew she should feel angry that he’d misjudged her so, but all she could muster was sadness at the thought that this was his life.

So she smiled and put a hand on his arm. “This is fine, Norman. Thank you for taking me, it really is interesting. But this is not my world. I don’t need this sort of thing. If, you know, we go out again dinner and a movie will do just fine…” She gave him a wink. “I’m low maintenance, even a takeaway will do. Then nobody will see us and I can wear my yoga pants…”

He grinned back, looking grateful. “Netflix and chill it is, then…”

She gave his arm a mock slap. “Hey, that’s not what I said. I might be old-fashioned, but I do know what that means…”

Then somebody tapped Norman on the arm and tried to engage him in conversation without so much as a hello. He gave her a small roll of the eyes she took to mean  _Sorry…_ , and Lea gave him another wink.  _Go do your thing…_

As Norman turned away, giving his full attention to the man who had interrupted them, Lea looked at him thoughtfully. This evening, even though it hadn’t really been fun so far, had taught her an awful lot. And then a different thought stole unbidden into her mind.

What would she do if Norman really suggested Netflix and chill for their next date?


	5. Chapter 5

The evening ended much sooner than Lea had expected. While Norman made the arounds in the gallery, talking to everyone, or so it seemed, Lea looked at all the art on display – mostly sculptures dipped in gold she didn’t really understand. After about an hour of this Joanne sought her out.

“Norman says he’s ready when you are.”

Lea was so relieved she hardly wondered at the strange way in which this message had reached her. She scanned the room. “Where is he?”

Joanne jerked her head toward the sidewalk out front. “Holding court.”

Standing on tiptoe Lea could just see him disappearing behind a wall of bodies while flashlights exploded again, and excited voices were audible even way back in the gallery. The sight and sound made Lea’s throat feel tight. How could he stand it? She looked at Joanne.

“How are we going to get away?”

“He’ll deal with it. There’s a car waiting, we’ll let him get clear first.” Then she added, interpreting the look of panic on Lea’s face correctly, “Don’t worry, he’s not abandoning you. Soon as he’s gone my car’ll come around, and we’ll take you to his place.”

She glanced around them with distaste. “Suits me well, actually. I hate this sort of thing, but he begged me to come. At least, thanks to your little misunderstanding, he’s decided to cut the evening short and I get to sneak away, too.”

“Oh, but…” Lea began, but Joanne cut her off.

“Don’t worry about it, darling. He’s glad to go. These things stopped being fun for him a long time ago.” She patted Lea’s arm, then looked around. “Oh good, he’s gone. I’ll call my driver. Be ready in five, ok?”

*

Getting out of the gallery was easier than getting in. Nobody gave them more than a cursory glance. Frumpy and mid-thirties has its advantages, Lea thought wryly as she climbed into the back of a non-descript grey car.

“It’s really not necessary,” she said to Joanne as she closed the door behind herself. “I can walk.”

“I know you can. But he insisted.” Joanne turned to face Lea, expensive leather seat creaking beneath her. “So, how do you know each other, exactly?”

“We don’t… I mean, we do, but hardly… I’m currently living on the same floor.” Lea felt nervous, worse than at a job interview. “I didn’t know anything about him until I met him in the hallway a few weeks ago. I still haven’t watched his show. There’s enough blood and gore at work.”

“I see…”

Joanne looked at her with renewed interest and for so long that Lea started to squirm under the scrutiny. Then her phone beeped in her bag and she was glad for the distraction. It was a text from Norman.

_Sorry about all that. Come 2 me 4 a drink? Make it up 2 u? Bit of medicine to help us sleep, doc… x_

Lea tried to control her face and not let the happiness show that was bubbling up in her. She quickly typed  _Ok, 5 mins_ , and had to stop herself from sending back a kiss. When she looked up Joanne’s expression was one of amusement, but the other woman didn’t have a chance to comment because just that moment the car pulled up outside the apartment block.

Lea wasn’t sorry to leave the car as quickly as possible.

“Thanks for everything. Good night!”

As she scrambled out of the backseat she thought she heard Joanne say something, but then the closing door cut her off.

It had sounded an awful lot like “Now behave, children…”

*

“Bet you’re mad as hell, huh?”

He hadn’t even let her say hello when he opened the door. Lea was transfixed by the blue eyes on her before the door had quite swung open, half worried, half pleading. She gave a sigh. Why the anxiety?

“Of course I’m not mad. Why would I be?”

Norman looked a little relieved but kept shooting her glances that told her he didn’t quite trust her to tell the truth. Then he seemed to remember that they were standing in the hallway and waved her inside.

“What’re you drinking?”

“Uh… what are you drinking? Don’t make a fuss just for me…”

He turned his head and smiled shyly. “Oh, but I want to… gotta make amends.”

Lea followed as Norman walked up the stairs and into the living area. He made for a section of the cupboards which he opened with a flourish. It looked like a mini bar in a hotel, Lea thought, only there was nothing mini about it. It was crammed with spirit bottles from whiskey to gin, glasses, snacks and anything one would find behind the bar in a well-stacked pub.

“Anything you like… and there’s also wine and beer in the fridge.”

“All right then. Gin and tonic?”

Norman nodded to himself. “I thought so…”

Lea had no idea how he could’ve known, but she decided to let it slide for the moment.

“Just for the record, no need to make anything up to me, ok?”

Lea watched him prepare her drink, adding rather more gin and less tonic than she would’ve thought wise from a small fridge hidden behind a different door.

“I didn’t stop to think, y’know… I just assumed… that that’s what you’d want, go to something exclusive…” He didn’t look at her, just nodded to himself again. “Next time we’ll go somewhere really cool, promise…”

Next time…

“You don’t have to take me anywhere…” Lea couldn’t help it, it just slipped out.

And then he looked at her, and her heart skipped a beat at the intensity of that look, that smile. “I know I don’t have to. But I want to…”

Lea was more the practical, rational type and really didn’t hold with that kind of nonsense, but for a moment it felt like time stood still. Then Norman bounded forward, her drink and his own bottle of beer in his hands.

“C’mon, let’s go out on the terrace. It’s not cold, and I’m dying for a smoke.”

He handed her the drink and ushered her before him, picking something up off the coffee table before opening the screen doors leading out onto the deck.

Lea followed. He was right, for a late November night it was almost balmy, and even in her light jacket she didn’t feel cold. She stepped outside curiously and moved right over to the railing, gazing down at the street. The view wasn’t all that interesting, but the terrace was huge, with chairs and loungers and plant pots dotted here and there. She could see Norman practically living out here all through the summer.

He joined her a moment later against the railing, lighting his cigarette. Keeping his distance while he smoked, he made sure to blow the smoke away from her over the velvety New York night. She found this simple curtesy strangely touching.

“This space is great. A proper terrace in Manhattan... not many can say they’ve even been on one…”

Norman gazed at the open patio doors, surveying his home from the outside. The light filtering through from inside made him look strangely pale and wistful.

“Got its perks…”

Lea kept looking at him, once again wondering at this strange man. The words, which she took to refer to his fame and the money that came with it, could have been a brag, but the tone of voice, flat, almost bitter, couldn’t have been further from that.

What was really going on behind those narrow, intense blue eyes, she wondered, not for the first time. But she kept her curiosity in check and changed the topic.

“Is Eye not going to escape if we leave the door open?” She pointed at the black, flicking tail just visible on the floor inside.

Norman snorted. “He’s afraid of the dark, that coward. Eye’s scared of many things… just like me.”

He threw her a look and winked at her, but Lea had a feeling that he was only half joking.

“He comes outside sometimes when it’s sunny. He likes that… Hey, I wanted to apologize… no, not that again,” he added hastily, interpreting the roll of her eyes correctly. “That night I called you. I wasn’t thinking straight, my head hurt so much… but I shouldn’t have asked you for the painkillers. Man, I didn’t think… that could’ve cost you your job…”

She was taken aback and touched that he’d even think about that, and that he was willing to own up to it even after it had all worked out ok. Honesty was one of the things Lea admired the most, and she decided to be very frank, to show how appreciative she was of what he’d just said.

“Well, I don’t know about losing my job, but there was an awful lot of paperwork for one vial of Dilaudit accidentally broken… I’m lucky, really, my supervisor is awesome, he doesn’t ask too many questions. And I got the good girl bonus, though that might be used up now. The rest of the vials are now safely locked away in Dr. M’s office. The only reason I had them was that we fought so hard to get them in the first place for our study, we didn’t want to lose them in that cesspit of an ER…”

“Tell me about your study?”

“I hope you got all night?” She winked at him to let him know she was joking. “It’s what I came here to do, and I get a bit excited about it… We’re investigating different forms of pain management in pre-clinical and first response settings, and how they correlate to post-op outcomes. It’s going to get really exciting in the new year, at the moment we’re still doing prep work…”

“Sounds awesome, and complicated… something for really clever people…”

His gaze made her blush again. “It’s really interesting, yeah. And exhausting. The grant only pays half my salary, for the rest of my paycheck I work as a junior registrar… junior doc, I mean, in the ER at the Ronald O. Perelman Centre on First Avenue.”

“And I thought I was busy…”

“I bet you’re even busier than me. Jetting all over the place...”

Norman made a dismissive gesture. “Pssh… I just get to play. My work doesn’t matter, I don’t have an impact on anyone’s life…”

“I know for a fact that’s not true… I have googled you, you know…”

For a moment he looked at her suspiciously, almost frightened. What did he think she’d found, Lea wondered. She hurried on, trying to ease his mind. “Your fans love you. So many happy stories from people who got to meet you…”

His eyes darkened, and Lea’s heart sank. Had she committed some new faux pas? But after a moment, during which Norman looked down at his hands, playing with his lighter, he glanced at her again, expression softer, and curious.

“Does it pay all right, being a junior doctor? Manhattan is expensive…”

The change of topic might have been a little clumsy, but it sent a clear message:  _Steer clear of talk about fans._ Lea smiled, not minding at all:  _Message received._

“It’s not bad pay. I’m glad I got the part-time job with the hospital directly. That way, when the research is done, it’s more likely they’ll keep me on. Fingers crossed… But no, it’s not enough to live right here.” She waved at the unassuming street below them, which in fact was still way outside what Lea thought she’d ever be able to afford. “That’s why I’m moving.”

“Oh, but your landlord…”

“Carmine? That was just good luck. He’s the cousin of a friend, but he doesn’t want a permanent flatmate… lodger… or, whatever…”

Norman giggled. Her Britishisms really seemed to tickle him. When he looked at her now his eyes were sparkling. Lea felt a flutter in her belly.

“He the tall dude with the long black hair? Sorta scary looking?”

“That’s Carmine, yeah…” And now she had to giggle, too. Norman, eyes still on her, moved a little closer.

“When are you moving?”

“Next week. Flat’s getting a new coat of paint right now.”

“And where to?”

“Queens. Ah,” she grinned, seeing the look on his face, “don’t knock it till you’ve seen it. It’s got some outside space, too, and I can afford it, just about.”

“Well, I don’t know that I can even find Queens on a map, but if you need help moving… just say the word, ok?”

Sure, she thought, when hell freezes over will I bother Norman Reedus with helping me move to Queens. But she gave him a big smile.

“Thanks, I will.”

“Hey…,” and now he looked a bit awkward again, gesturing toward the patio table where he’d placed a small black object when they’d first come outside, “would it, I mean… can I take some pictures of you? I got this new camera with super max ISO just the other day, and I’m dying to try it out in the dark…”

Lea stared. The man who had photographed his beautiful model girlfriends in the nude, in all sorts of exotic settings, wanted to take photos of her? Her mouth went dry. Well, she thought wryly, he also photographed roadkill with a passion, she’d seen the photos online. She probably came somewhere between those two extremes…

As it happened to her sometimes when nervous, the answer that came out of her mouth before she could stop herself reflected none of that internal struggle. Stonewalling the anxiety, some would call it.

“If you want me to take my clothes off, you’ll have to wine and dine me first. Old school, remember?”

Oh god, she thought, what was that? But Norman just threw his head back, laughing uproariously. Seeing him so amused certainly was worth a little embarrassment on her part, and Lea joined in with the laughter a little helplessly.

When Norman could finally stop chuckling his eyes returned to her, and she could tell he was making sure to have her attention.

“Noted.”

His voice was lower and smokier on that one word than she’d ever heard it so far. With one languid stride he closed the gap to where she stood leaning against the railing still. Never breaking eye contact his left hand came up, cradling the back of her head, carding through her short hair, and she felt goosebumps as his strong, gentle fingers slowly traveled down, caressing the back of her neck. He pulled her close, leaning in, and kissed her.

She expected him to taste of beer and cigarettes, and he did, a little, but also clean and warm and sweet. He smelled amazing, and Lea would always think of that first kiss later whenever she encountered pleasant smells she couldn’t quite place. His short stubble was surprisingly soft, and so was his mouth on hers.

Norman took his time, exploring her mouth, her lips, her teeth with his tongue. Lea had no idea how long they stood like this, had no recollection later of when he’d taken the G&T from her, placed his other arm around her. The night air around them was cool and soothing, and New York went on as usual below them.

*

They also took the photos he’d wanted.

When they finally broke apart neither of them seemed to want to talk about what had just happened, for which Lea was grateful. She was in a total daze, and when he asked again if he could take photos of her she just nodded.

Norman directed her to adopt certain poses, and even in her shell shocked state she had to admire his focus and professional demeanor. Once he had all the shots he wanted he lowered the camera, and all the awkwardness returned.

“D’you, umm…”

“Ah… I better go home. Got work tomorrow.”

Which was true, but she actually had the late shift. Lea simply had to get away, digest it all, think about what had happened.

She extracted herself quickly, thanking him again for the night out, and before he could say much she’d given him a quick peck on the cheek and fled. Was it her imagination, or had he looked slightly disappointed?

Back in her own, if only temporary, bedroom Lea closed the door and leaned against it, breathing hard as if she’d just run a mile.

What had this been, all of this night? Had she ever had one quite like it?

She felt her cell buzz in her coat pocket. When she pulled it out she saw that it was a picture message from Norman.

_This is beauty, with clothes or without… Sleep tight! x_

Lea tapped the attachment open. It was a photo of her, but not from the roof session just now. Norman must’ve taken it on his cell phone earlier in the gallery. He’d captured her with her head cocked, looking at one of the odd sculptures, concentrating hard.

She laughed to herself a bit nervously. She didn’t know about beautiful. Interesting, maybe?

Or Norman Reedus seriously needed his eyes examined.


	6. Chapter 6

“Oh, hey… moving date’s today?”

Lea put the box on the floor and straightened up, wincing. How had she acquired so much stuff in the short time she’d lived here? Surely she’d come over from England with just one suitcase only two months ago?

Norman stood in his door looking surprised and, now that she scanned his face, maybe a little hurt?

They hadn’t seen each other since the night at the gallery. He seemed to have been away most of the last week, and when he’d suggested a day for a meeting once he was back she’d already agreed to cover some extra shifts at the hospital. She could use the money, what with a rental deposit to pay and various other things looming on the horizon, but she’d been pretty upset that she had to decline.

“I thought you were gonna ask me to help you.”

Lea stared. “But, surely, you’re too busy for that…”

He reached back into his apartment, grabbing a jacket, then pulled the door closed behind himself, walked over and leaned down to pick up the box. “I offered, didn’t I? And do I look busy? At least let me help carry that stuff down.”

“Actually,” and now Lea felt nervous, “the man and van I hired hasn’t turned up yet, and I can’t get through to him. I might have to shlepp all of this back up in a moment…”

“How many boxes?”

“Three, and two suitcases. The rest of my stuff’s coming from London next week.”

“That’ll fit no problem,” he said, hoisting the box and striding toward the lifts. Lea followed.

“Fit where?”

“Into the jeep.” He motioned at her with his chin, balancing the box on one knee. “Call the lift?”

Lea pressed the button and stood next to him feeling butterflies and guilt warring inside her as he nudged her with his shoulder. “I haven’t had my shots, though…”

“Shots?”

“We’re going to Queens, no? It’s like going abroad…”

She laughed and mock-slapped his arm as she followed him into the elevator.

“Funny, I’m sure. Thanks, though. Really, I mean it…”

His eyes, full of warmth as he smiled at her over the box, caused more butterflies.

“It has some perks, knowing a New Yorker with a car. We’re a dying breed.”

When they exited the elevator he put the box on top of the other two she’d already stacked up in the lobby.

“Wait here, I’ll get the car.”

She had to wait barely ten minutes until he was back, propping the front door open.

“Where do you leave the jeep? In the street?”

“Sometimes. But at the moment it’s in a lot a block over. Getting harder and harder finding space around here…”

“I’ve been thinking I should get a car, now that I’ll be all the way out there. We got staff parking at work…”

Norman picked up a box, and Lea picked up a second one, following him out of the door.

“God, yeah… Hate to think you’re working shifts and riding out to Queens with all those psychos on the subway!”

He looked at her, and his gaze was so full of genuine concern it felt like an embrace. Blushing, she couldn’t think what to say and just lowered her eyes.

“Here we go…” Norman pushed the button on his car keys awkwardly, balancing the box with one hand, and the lights on a silver-colored jeep parked in second row right by the doors flashed. Lea put her box on the pavement.

“I’ll get the next one.”

They got everything loaded up quickly and then Norman motioned to the passenger side.

“Right, gimme that Queens address. The GPS might refuse to take us there, I hope you got a map from the 1950s on you…”

Lea poked out her tongue at him over the roof of the car and he laughed. When they were both in their seats she recited her new address and he typed it into the little machine on the dashboard. Then he looked at her curiously.

“Tell me, why Queens? Can’t just be the money. There’s some nice bits of Brooklyn that are still pretty affordable…”

“Langone ER is right by the Midtown Tunnel, so driving across is easier from Queens than Brooklyn. And you’re right, sometimes public transport is scary when working shifts.”

“What kind of car d’you wanna get?”

“No idea, I haven’t had a car in ten years. Something small and cheap?”

“Hey, get a bike. You’ll fit through even the worst traffic jams, and parking’s dead easy.”

“Uh… I don’t ride…”

“I’ll teach you,” he smiled over at her, and the butterflies were back at full force. “I love bikes, I ride all the time in Georgia. That’s what’s happening next, filming a show about bikes. I can’t wait…”

“Aren’t you still doing Walking Dead?”

He wouldn’t meet her eye. “Sure… but we’re on hiatus… and I really can’t talk about the show... sorry…”

“Oh… I didn’t mean… I’m sorry.” She felt embarrassed.

But when he looked back over at her his eyes were as kind as ever. “That’s ok, don’t worry. All people wanna hear about at the moment is Walking Dead this, Walking Dead that… The reporters in LA wouldn’t ask me anything else…”

“Oh yeah, I saw you on the AMAs last week. Well, Carmine watched it and called me over…”

That her landlord had exclaimed “Hey, look, it’s your boyfriend on TV” when she’d come out from the kitchen Lea kept to herself.

“That was pretty cool. Carrie won! I love her! I got to hang with so many old friends… and I got to see the exhibition, finally!”

“Exhibition?”

“I got some photography in a gallery out there at the moment. Did some interviews while I was there… wish I could take you. I wanna show all my friends, but so many of them are here, or gone home for the hiatus… It’s really a cool space…”

Friends… was that what they were? Lea knew she shouldn’t feel disappointed, should indeed feel delighted that Norman Reedus had called her a friend, but there had been this growing flame in her heart, hope that this would go somewhere else, somewhere more… well, he’d not called her in over a week, so who she’d been trying to kid she didn’t know.

Norman hadn’t noticed her heart going from butterflies right down into her shoes. He carried on talking about LA and the interviews he’d done, and Lea was only half listening.

“You ok, doc?”

She turned to him when he raised his voice slightly, obviously noticing her attention drifting. He looked at her with a little frown. Had she failed to reply to a question or something?

“Sorry, I’m fine… what did you say?”

“Work’s been ok? You were going so quiet, sorry I ranted on about uninteresting shit…”

It didn’t sound like he was being sarcastic, but actually worried that he’d been boring her. Lea didn’t have much experience with celebrities but she was pretty sure they usually just assumed you’d be hanging on their every word. What an unusual guy…

“Not at all boring, honest…” She smiled, her focus back on him completely. “So, LA. Were you there this weekend too?”

She’d only asked to show she wanted him to keep talking about his trip to the West Coast, but Norman’s face grew dark.

“No, I was at a convention…”

“Oh, I read about those. With costumes and autographs and stuff?”

“Yeah…”

But he didn’t elaborate, and his face remained dark as a thundercloud. Lea was unsure what to say, he looked so forbidding all of a sudden, so angry. It was making her quite nervous.

This was a new side of Norman Lea hadn't see yet. Her instincts for how people felt were usually good, and honed by being around people ill and in pain. She could feel a rawness in Norman now, a fear that showed plainly in the tense set of his shoulders, the way he gritted his teeth, gripped the steering wheel. Something had happened at that con, and for some reason Lea thought it must've been only the last incident in a string of unpleasant experiences.

They didn't speak much the rest of the way, just listened to the instruction from the GPS. When Norman parked outside the building where Lea's new apartment was located she was glad to get out of the car.

Norman grabbed the first box from the boot of the car and carried it up the front steps after Lea.

"First floor," she said as they got inside, but corrected herself as Norman veered off down the corridor. "Second, sorry. I'll get used to America soon, promise..."

She climbed the stairs before him and unlocked the door right opposite the landing on the next floor.

"It's not nearly as nice as what you're used to," she said as Norman stepped inside, looking around him curiously. He put the box down on the floor of the living room. When he gazed at her his eyes still looked a little haunted, but he gave her his sweetest smile.

"Baby, what you see back at the penthouse is not what I'm used to at all."

And without warning he stepped close and kissed her. They didn't come up for air for a long time but Lea later never really remembered those minutes standing in the bare living space, his arms around her, his heart beating under her fingers.

Finally they broke apart. He held her a moment longer, eyes locked in hers and she could hardly breathe.

"Sorry for being a dick earlier. I'll tell you what happened, but let's get your stuff in here first."

Still dazed she followed him back down to the car. It didn't take long for them to unload the rest of her things and carry them upstairs. When Norman put the last box down and straightened up his eyes fell onto the patio door.

"You got a balcony!"

He went over quickly and opened the screen doors. Lea followed.

"It's hardly even that, more like a couple chairs on a fire escape, but yeah, it's the reason I took this place."

She went outside after Norman and they gazed out over the backyard together. It had been a great surprise, finding this building with a beautifully tended back garden overlooked by her very own tiny bit of outdoor space. Lea had always yearned for a place with a balcony, and her ex had teased her about that every opportunity he got. She glanced at Norman. Well, this guy clearly got it.

"Can I smoke out here?"  
  
"Sure. You want a cuppa?"  
  
"Tea, you mean?" He grinned, clearly pleased with himself that he'd understood this Britishism. She had to laugh too. He really was too cute.  
  
"That, or instant coffee. No fancy espresso machine here yet."

"Tea is fine. Wait," his face creased in concentration. "White, one sugar. That's what Andy always says..."

She patted his arm then went inside to make the drinks. When she brought them outside he was sitting on one of the cheap plastic chairs, legs outstretched, gazing out over the garden, resplendent in the early evening light. Lea thought he still looked oddly tense. She placed his mug and a saucer doubling as ashtray on the rickety table by his elbow.

"I'll tell you what happened this weekend if you want."

"You don't have to..."

"No, I think I do..."

Lea sat down in the other chair, facing Norman across the table.

“Ok, then. Tell me.”

He didn’t look at her, just stared out over the backyard and its dead, wintry plants. He’d pulled the collar of his half-plaid winter coat up, and she knew it was to hide behind rather than because it was cold. The weather was still incredibly mild for December.

Norman was entirely still and silent for so long Lea thought he’d changed his mind and wouldn’t tell her after all. Yet she waited patiently. It came to her easily, waiting and listening, it was partly why she was a good physician.

Then, finally, Norman shifted very slightly. Lea knew the signs. He was psyching himself up to say something difficult.

“A fan bit me.”

For a moment Lea wasn’t even sure he’d spoken English, the words sounded so nonsensical. Then it penetrated, and she leaned forward, staring.

“A fan _bit_  you?”

“Yeah…”

“Where?”

“In the photo session on Saturday…”

“No, I mean, on you, where did they bite you?”

His right hand disappeared into his open jacket and came to rest somewhere on the left side of his chest, Lea couldn’t see exactly where.

“Here.”

“D’you… I mean, have you had it looked at?”

“Nothing to see now. Didn’t break the skin…”

He looked at her then, misery writ larger than ever on his face. “It was so bizarre… She just…”

Then he lowered his eyes and shook his head. His lips seemed to be moving but no words came.

“My god, I’m so sorry… Tell me that’s not normal… Has this ever happened before?”

Norman shook his head. “Never, no… but normal? I don’t even know what that is any more…”

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head again, his fingers knotted so tightly in his lap Lea winced at the thought of how much that must be hurting. She ached to reach across, insert her own fingers into the tangle and unknot his hands, hold them tight. Focus him in the here and now and take him away from that awful memory. But she didn’t move, sure he’d bolt if she tried touching him now.

“This year has just… I mean, is it really worth all this? Things, down South…”

Lea so desperately wanted to console him, put her arms around him. He sounded so sad, so lost.

“Norman…”

Suddenly, as if galvanized by the sound of his name, he jerked up in his seat, wiping angrily at his eyes. They flicked at her for a split second, a haunted, desperate expression making them into two pools of darkness. Then he stubbed out his cigarette in the makeshift ashtray and jumped to his feet, making Lea startle.

“I thought I could… I better go… Listen, I’ll call you ok?”

And without looking at her he hurried back into the apartment and toward the front door.

Lea was right on his heels, but still didn’t dare touch him.

“All right, or we could just…”

Shaking his head, not looking around, he had a hand on the front door already.

“’m so sorry…,” the last, muttered awfully sad thing she heard and then he was through the door, and she stood frozen in the middle of the room.

Lea didn’t move for a long time, didn’t watch him get into his jeep from the window, didn’t watch him drive away. When she finally unfroze she merely closed the front door, turned all the lights off and returned to the balcony. There she sat, staring at their two untouched mugs of tea and his cigarette stub in the saucer, until darkness had really fallen and she couldn’t see anything at all.


	7. Chapter 7

It was two weeks before Lea saw Norman again. She tried hard not to think about him, painfully aware that this might have indeed be it. He had no real reason now to get in touch. Their last encounter had ended in disaster, and while that hadn’t been her fault she wouldn't blame him if any memory of her would now forever be tainted with that painful recalling of… well, of what, exactly? Biting fans? As shocking and revolting as that incident had been Lea had an idea that it had been merely the tip of the iceberg of things gone wrong.

Whatever Norman had tried, and failed, to tell her, it must have been traumatic. And why would he want to be reminded of that, or his inability to deal with it? Lea wasn’t surprised when he didn’t call or text, but it hurt, and her thoughts often returned to the time they spent together on her balcony.

Work was busy as ever, and sorting out her new place had taken Lea’s mind off things nicely, too, at least temporarily. She’d also spent some of her limited free time hunting for a cheap car, and finally, two days ago, she’d taken possession of a ten year old Ford Fiesta. When she’d seen the car at a local used car lot it had evoked fond memories of her first ever car, which had been the same brand. Even though the car was quite old it had still set her back $5000, but hopefully now the commute to work would be more bearable. Also, the car was bright pink, which cheered her up every time she looked at it.

She’d now driven the car to work for two days, and so far had been pleasantly surprised. Going through the Midtown Tunnel was much quicker than she’d feared. As a doctor working in Manhattan she was exempt from the toll, and free parking at work hopefully meant the car would be an affordable alternative long term.

*

Lea was just on her way back from discharging a patient, about to drop off the chart with her notes at the ER’s reception, when she spotted Norman. He was standing just inside the entrance doors, and the moment Lea laid eyes on him she knew that something was wrong. Norman was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, even though the sky outside was overcast. He kept being jostled by passersby since he had stopped exactly in the middle of the double sliding doors.

“Kathy, could you take this?”

Lea held out her clipboard to the nurse who was just passing and Kathy took it without comment. Lea was already moving. She hurried to Norman’s side just as he was turning toward the reception desk. She placed a hand on his arm and he looked at her.

“What are you doing here?”

Lea couldn’t see the expression in his eyes behind the glasses, but she thought he seemed dazed and not quite in the present moment. His left hand now came up to the side of his head, and he pressed his flat palm against his temple.

“Head hurts… so bad…”

He staggered slightly, and Lea slid her arm around his waist. She looked around, remembering what Norman had said about people with smartphone cameras being the reason he didn’t want to go to the hospital the night he’d called her at 2am. She had to get him away from the busiest part of the ER before someone recognized him.

“Let’s get you a room…”

He came with her meekly, and she could feel him struggling to walk in a straight line. She turned them down a corridor at which end there lay a few smaller examination rooms that weren’t used regularly because they were so far away from the entrance.

This now turned out to be a problem. They were only halfway down the corridor when Norman suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He put one hand on the arm she had protectively put across his front, and his fingers were like ice.

“Norman, what’s the matter?”

He didn’t answer, just tensed against her, looking around them frantically. Then he pressed a hand against his mouth, let go of her and hurried toward a sink on the wall nearby.

“Oh no…,” Lea whispered.

She quickly followed Norman as he hunched over the sink, heaving. He’d placed both hands on the porcelain rim and she could see his fingers turn white as he gripped on tight. Shoulders drawn up, body tense, he started to shake as the sick splattered into the sink.

Lea placed a hand between his shoulders as he vomited again. The retching sounded painful, and it went on for several minutes. They were alone in this part of the corridor, for which Lea was grateful. She was keen to spare Norman the humiliation of being caught by a fan like this, even if it meant that she had to take care of him on her own.

Norman wiped his brow with the back of one hand now, groaning. Lea put her arm around him again and he leaned on her gratefully. He dry heaved a few more times, then straightened up further. His breath sounded rattly and uneven. Lea grabbed a handful of tissues from a nearby box and he used them to wipe his mouth.

“Can we move, you think?”

He nodded weakly and she held on more tightly, then led him on down the corridor and through one of the last doors along the left hand side. They carried on to the narrow bed and Lea helped Norman climb onto it.

“Let’s get this off so I can examine you.”

Lea tugged on one of the sleeves of his jacket and he let her pull it off him. His hand went straight back onto his stomach and Lea quickly opened the cupboard under the bedside table. The nurses kept the proper, plastic basins in there, and Lea didn’t feel they needed the mess that came with using the small cardboard ones. Norman hugged the basin to his chest and gagged, but for now only a thin trickle of bile came up. He groaned and pressed his hand against his temple and the side of his face again. Lea took off his cap and placed it, together with the basin, onto the bedside table.

“Lie back.”

She supported him gently as he lay down, then adjusted the back rest until he was half upright. Norman put his head onto the pillow and curled up on the side, hiding his face from the light. Lea felt very sorry for him. She went over to the wall and turned the ceiling light off. Enough daylight for her to see by still filtered through a window high in the wall.

“Leave the sunglasses on, ok?”

He nodded, looking up at her as she stepped close. His hand came up as if he wanted to touch her, and she took it in both of hers. It was still icy cold.

“It’s been so bad… I didn’t know what to do…”

“Honey, why didn’t you come sooner? Or call me?”

“Didn’t want you to get in trouble again… I thought maybe it’d just go away. Told Dr. White on the phone, but she’s no use…”

“Well, you need a new neurologist. I’ll talk to some people later. But first let’s see about that pain, huh?”

He nodded weakly. “Yes please…”

“I got to clear this with my supervisor, me looking after you. And I’ll organize some security so you’re left alone here… Can you hang in there for a few minutes? I’ll be back real soon with some meds.”

“Yeah, ok…”

“Try to relax, close your eyes. I won’t be long, and I’ll send my favorite nurse to stay with you…”

He grinned slightly at that, which made her laugh. If he could still be silly like that he’d probably be all right.

“Now, behave, or Kathy won’t ever talk to me again…”

He squeezed her hand which he was still hanging on to. “Thanks, doc…”

Lea smiled and placed her other hand gently against his face for a moment.

“No problem.”

Then she stepped over to the wall phone, dialing reception first. This would take some time to sort, Lea thought as she waited for the charge nurse to pick up the phone. She didn’t mind, though. She was glad he’d come to her when he needed help.

*

Jon looked at the little cell phone screen in his hand, then at the hospital entrance before him. This had to be it… Sighing he walked through the sliding double doors into a bustling ER.

Norman had texted earlier in the morning:  _Head’s killing me. Gone to Langone ER, take a raincheck? x_

Of course Jon hadn’t left it at that. First he’d tried calling Norman, leaving voicemail after voicemail. Then he’d looked up Langone on a map, rolled his eyes, and called a cab. Now here he was.

Why had his friend come here? It wasn’t local, nor was it his usual hospital. Jon knew Norman was with a neurologist at Columbia. Well, only one way to find out.

“Excuse me,” Jon said to a passing nurse. “I’m here to see, uh… Norman Reedus?”

He’d lowered his voice on the name, suddenly unsure he should’ve asked at all. But what else could he do?

The nurse looked at him warily. “And you are?”

“Jon Ber… I’m a friend.”

“Is he expecting you?” Jon decided to take that as confirmation that Norman was indeed here. He puffed himself up. Maybe it was time to channel a bit of Cop Shane…

“He bloody well is. How else would I even know he was here? Now, can you take me to him, please?”

The nurse looked first intimidated, then annoyed, but merely beckoned Jon to follow. He felt a little ashamed. He wasn’t usually the bullying kind. But if it had the desired effect… Jon walked down a corridor after the nurse.

When they got to the room Jon breathed a small sigh of relief. At least they’d done this bit right. There was a security guard outside the door the nurse led him to now, and the room was well away from the main ER corridors. The nurse now opened the door and waved him inside.

Norman was lying on a high hospital bed in a gloomy half-darkness, curled up on his side, eyes closed. Jon spotted his cap and shades on the bedside table, next to a plastic basin. He walked over to the bed, studying his friend’s face. Norman looked pale and sweaty, and there was a deep crease of pain across his brow. Jon could see several IV lines snaking from plastic pouches into his right arm. A machine with squiggly lines on several monitors suddenly gave a loud, short beep and Norman’s eyes flew open.

“Jonny!”

“Hey buddy.”

Jon covered the rest of the distance to the bed in a few steps, then leaned down to kiss Norman, which had become the customary greeting between them. But Norman pulled away and shook his head.

“Don’t… ‘m all pukey…”

Jon shrugged, and putting a gentle hand against Norman’s face instead, placed a kiss on the top of his head. Norman sighed at the touch and put his own hand on top of Jon’s.

Sitting down on the bed by Norman’s side Jon looked down into his friend’s eyes. He pushed a few strands of hair off Norman’s forehead and frowned.

“You don’t look so good. What’s going on? I thought you had new pills for your head…”

“They’re shit, they don’t work…” Norman looked at him miserably. “Oh Jonny, I can’t do this anymore…”

Jon stroked Norman’s face for a bit, then wiped away the single tear that had escaped from under his lashes.

“Shh, baby… we’ll find something that’ll work. We always do, no?”

Norman nodded.

“Why did you come here, though? Bit out of the way… What is it, three different trains from your place?”

“Two… there’s a new doctor, she works here…”

“You got a new doctor? Who works in an ER?”

“She’s not exactly  _my_ doctor…”

Before Jon could ask any more questions the door opened. Jon turned around.

“That’s her,” Norman said behind him, and Jon looked closely at the woman now entering the room. She was in blue scrubs and trainers. Dark blond hair in a pixie cut, average height, slightly on the chubby side. Mid-thirties. Her eyes, which now alighted on Jon, were large and blue, but now she narrowed them in suspicion.

“Who are you, and how did you get in here?”

Jon couldn’t help but feel some grudging admiration for her protective tone. She now looked at Norman with concern.

“This is Jonny… Jon Bernthal. He’s a friend. Hackles down, doc.”

Jon looked around at Norman with a feeling he was missing something here. Did these two know each other? That light, teasing tone was Norman at his most familiar and relaxed. Jon glanced back at the doctor, who still looked a little suspicious.

Then both of them were distracted by a groan from the bed. Jon looked back around at Norman who was now pressing a hand to his head.

“Grab the basin,” the doctor said as she stepped up to Norman’s side, and Jon did as asked. Norman struggled to sit up further, already gagging. The doctor helped him lean over the basin Jon was holding for him and kept a hand soothingly on his shoulder as Norman retched miserably. When he was finally able to draw a shaking breath it sounded more like a sob.

“It’s ok, Norman, just remember to breathe, ok? That’s it, no need to panic, almost over…” She looked at Jon when it finally seemed like Norman was able to stop vomiting. “You ok to stay with him while I go and get some meds? I think it’s time for the IV anti-emetics…”

Jon nodded. “Sure…”

The doctor helped Norman lie back on the pillows, then indicated the basin. “Don’t put that too far away, just in case…”

“What about his headache?”

The doctor indicated the IV bags. “Meds are already running. It’s the best stuff out there, but it’ll take some time to work. I gave him some Zofran orally, but that obviously wasn’t enough. Got to find something better to make him comfortable until the migraine meds kick in…”

She patted Norman’s arm gently and smiled at him when his eyes met hers. “I’ll be right back. Try and relax.”

“Ok.”

She left. Jon looked at the door as it closed behind her, then back at Norman with a heavy heart.

“I’m sorry you’re feeling so shitty, baby…”

“’s ok… it’ll pass. D’you like her?”

Norman’s eyes, a little red and puffy and too bright, were on Jon intently. The hunch that this wasn’t merely a doctor and patient relationship with these two intensified.

“She’s quite protective…”

“You two got that in common, yeah…” Norman looked at the closed door. “She’s really good, real thorough. She’ll sort this out…”

“I get a feeling I’m missing something here, baby. Do you two know each other?”

“We’ve hung out a couple times. I made a mess of it, though…”

Norman broke off when a nurse came into the room, carrying a fresh basin and a cup with ice chips. She handed the latter to Jon and switched the basin still by Norman’s side for the new one. Then she looked at Jon.

“Get him to have a little ice, but slowly. Dr. Winters will be back in a few minutes.”

She left. Jon looked at Norman.

“You want some ice?”

Norman shook his head. He’d closed his eyes, hand back against his temple.

“Not a good idea…”

Jon put the cup onto the bedside table. He had enough experience with Norman’s headaches to know that this wasn’t yet the end of the sickness. He got up, walked around the bed and toed his shoes off. Norman, looking at him gratefully, made a bit more room and Jon climbed onto the bed next to him. He helped Norman sit up and lean into his chest. Then he put the basin in both their laps as Norman gagged again.

They’d spent countless nights in Georgia like this, Norman sick and miserable, propped up against him or Andy, waiting for the latest medication to take effect.

“’s all right, baby. I’ll stay with you, you’re gonna be fine…”

New doctor or not, Jon thought, his friends knew what Norman needed when things derailed like this.

*

“You guys are still here…”

Lea poked her head around the door; she’d seen the security guard still in attendance and decided she’d better check.

“Our ride’s stuck in traffic…” Norman, back in his street clothes, sunglasses and baseball cap back in place, was sitting on the bed, looking pale and miserable still. Jon stood next to him, hand on Norman’s neck, lending both physical and emotional support. Lea thought this was rather sweet.

When she’d returned to the room earlier with the anti-emetics and found the two men huddled up on the bed together she’d been touched by the obviously close bond between them. She didn’t think any of the men she knew would support a friend like this, ill or not. Hollywood really was a different place.

Now she looked at the two men, thinking. Should she offer? Yes, probably. Looking at Norman’s pale face made her heart heavy with worry. He should be resting, not sitting around for ages waiting for that ride. But first, one last try…

“Norman, are you sure you don’t want to spend the night here?”

He nodded emphatically, and Jon looked annoyed with her. “I hate hospitals. I can never sleep…”

Well, that’d be no good, if he couldn’t sleep. Nothing for it. “If you can hang on another fifteen minutes I’ll give you a lift?”

He looked up at her, and even though she couldn’t see his eyes behind the glasses she knew he was grateful. He gave a small smile.

“You got a car, then… Sure it’s not a pain in the ass, trekking all the way down there?”

“Course it’s not. And I know where you live, so the fact that my GPS from Ebay hasn’t arrived yet won’t matter.” Lea pointed at the wheelchair standing in a corner and addressed Jon. “You ok to help him sit in that? Hospital policy.”

Jon nodded, looking at her with a mix of suspicion and gratitude. The vibe Lea was getting from Jon was very strange. She wondered what, if anything, Norman had told his friend about them. Well, it looked like she was going to find out more about Norman’s dark-haired, grumpy friend now.

As she got ready, signing over her patients to the next shift and packing supplies she thought she’d need, checking with her supervisor that she was ok to take them, Lea contemplated the weird turn of events. Seeing Norman had been a shock for more than one reason. He’d been so unwell that any feeling of anger or hurt on her part had dissipated quickly. Busy making him comfortable and dealing with the pain Lea had had little chance to dwell on anything other than Norman’s immediate wellbeing.

She couldn’t deny that it was good to see him again, despite what had happened the last time. Now she hoped that he’d still remember her when he was well again.

*

“Not as posh as what you’re used to, I’m afraid…”

Lea looked at Jon, feeling a little embarrassed over her tiny car all of a sudden, and remembering the plush interior of the car Joanne had taken her home in after the gallery.

“Don’t mind her, Jon. She talks like Andy sometime, but I think I’m getting the hang of it now…” Norman looked up and she thought he winked at her, but couldn’t be sure behind the sunglasses. “I think the car’s cute. Very you…”

Lea blushed and gave him a quick smile, then bent down to unlock the rear passenger door. When she looked back at him she couldn’t suppress a frown.

“Thanks. Norman, you sure you ok? You’re ever so pale…”

“Just real tired. Don’t worry, doc, Jon got some puke bags from that nice nurse… right?”

Jon nodded as he helped Norman stand up from the wheelchair. “Sure did. You won’t need them, though.”

“We’ll see.” Norman gripped the side of the car door and gingerly clambered into the backseat.

“I’ll move that out of the way.” Lea smiled at Jon and started pushing the wheelchair over toward the curb. Jon nodded his thanks but didn’t return the smile. A hard nut to crack, that one, she thought…

When Lea returned to the car Jon had climbed in beside Norman on the other side. He looked a little uncomfortable in the confined space but then focused his attention on making sure Norman was buckled in and comfortable. Lea smiled to herself. That man could pretend he was a scowly bastard all he liked. She could see he was good people.

Lea watched in the rear view mirror as Jon put his arm around Norman, and Norman cuddled up against his chest with a sigh. That Jon himself was now not buckled in made Lea nervous, but she let it slide, touched by how close these two clearly were.

“You remember the way home, doc?”

“Course I do. Haven’t yet driven it, though…”

“Uhoh… Jon, hang on to something, Lea’s used to driving in Queens. Better hope the police don’t stop us…”

“Funny, Norman…” she grinned over her shoulder, but Jon still didn’t crack a smile. Instead he was frowning down at Norman now.

“How do you know each other, exactly?”

Norman sighed. “Always so suspicious… he’s very protective of me, y’see?”

“I noticed.”

“The doc used to live just down the hall. Now she’s gone over to the dark side, also known as Queens, but we mustn’t hold that against her…”

But then Norman groaned suddenly, lowering his head. Lea watched as Jon reached for the sick bags.

“You gonna puke, man?”

“No… not right now, anyway…”

“Well, be quiet now for a bit and rest, ok?”

Jon pulled Norman closer and held him, placing a gentle kiss on the side of his head. Lea could feel the worry emanating from Norman’s friend. She wondered what the history was with those two.

They drove on in silence, Lea concentrating on the road. It was a short drive, only about fifteen minutes. Much more troublesome was finding a parking space.

“Anywhere will do,” Norman said. “If you get towed I’ll pay your fine…”

“But then I’ll be without a car until they sort that out…”

“True…ugh, shit…”

Lea looked in the rear view mirror at Norman again. She knew him well enough now to see that he was still in a lot of pain, and the tense set to his shoulders told her that he was trying hard not to throw up.

 _Fuck it_ , she thought and parked in the first free space, even though it was a loading bay only before 8pm.

Jon helped Norman out of the car while Lea got her kit from the boot, then locked the doors.

“Where’re your keys, baby?”

Norman tried to dig them out from his jeans pocket but in the end Jon had to help. Lea followed the two into the lobby and pressed the button for the lift.

They didn’t speak. Lea could hear Norman’s breath coming in small, panicky, painful sounding gasps as he fought the headache and the nausea. He was clinging hard to the other man now. She held out a hand and looked at Jon.

“I open the door, you get him to the bathroom?”

Jon nodded and dropped the keys into her hand. He still didn’t look too happy that she was even there.  _Well, never mind that_ , Lea thought. They’d have to leave aside their animosity and concentrate on Norman first.

At least the plan worked as intended. Lea closed the door again once they were all inside and went after the two men into the en-suite off the master bedroom, listening to the strained retching noises with a heavy heart.

Norman was crouching in front of the toilet, Jon by his side, rubbing Norman’s back. It was mostly dry heaving now for Norman since there was nothing left in him, yet the migraine was clearly still making him feel properly sick.

“When he can get away from there, get him into bed,” Lea said to Jon. “I brought a second course of anti-emetics and pain meds. One often doesn’t do the trick, and his isn’t exactly a normal migraine.”

Jon looked up at her briefly, this time with genuine gratitude. Lea felt for him, seeing the worry for his friend plainly on Jon’s face.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll pull the drapes shut.” Lea went back into the bedroom.

They got Norman settled in the darkened room once he was able to get off the bathroom floor. Jon brought a basin from the kitchen and put it on the floor by the bed. Then Lea sat down on the bed and opened her kit.

“I’ll put you on a second round of pain meds, as well as some anti-emetics again. I’ve also got a mild sedative here so you can sleep. All intravenous so you don’t have to swallow anything, ok?”

“Sounds good.”

“I also brought some saline solution, is that ok too? You’re getting pretty dehydrated.”

“Always so thorough, doc…” He smiled weakly and put a hand on her arm, causing goosebumps to erupt all over and making her heart flutter. “Thanks, for everything… especially after I was such a dick…”

Lea smiled back at him, trying to be professional about all this and finding it nearly impossible. “You weren’t a dick at all. But let’s park all that for now, and concentrate on making you feel better.”

“Hmmm…”

Lea set to work. By the time she’d administered the drugs and set up the IVs Norman had fallen asleep. She put her things away and got up. Jon was standing by the door, looking at her intently. She gave him a tentative smile, and this time he returned it.

“Let’s let him sleep,” Lea mouthed, and Jon, nodding, led the way to the upper level and the living area.

“Are you staying with him?” Lea asked once they’d climbed the stairs.

“I will now, yeah.” He motioned at the kitchen. “Coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks. Americano, white. I mean… with milk. It’s good that you’re staying, he shouldn’t be alone.”

“You gotta leave?”

“I’ll stay for a few hours, but I’m on call tonight.”

Jon looked at her, clearly impressed. “You got to work yet you’re spending your day off looking after him? You’ll be so tired…”

“It’s ok. On call means I’ll get some sleep at least. And I had a feeling he’d not be well enough after one dose of treatment, so it’s lucky, really, that I could come along with you guys. I wish he’d agreed to stay in hospital…”

“His fans would destroy the internet with the gossip if that came out. He really doesn’t need that right now… It’s a miracle nobody saw him today…” Jon came over and handed her a mug. Then he motioned at the sofas. “Shall we sit down?”

Lea led the way and sat, facing the windows. Looking out onto the terrace brought back memories of the night Norman had taken photos of her out there. She smiled slightly, then blushed. Had Jon noticed?

He’d sat down on the other sofa and regarded her now with a curious look. Then he seemed to blush a little himself and quickly looked down at his coffee. “I got to apologize. I stonewalled you from the moment I saw you. Knee jerk reaction… well, alright, jerk, anyway…”

“I get that you and Norman are very close. And what with the lives you lead, those fans, no wonder you’re really protective of each other. Especially since he’s ill…”

“Has he told you about the fans? About what’s been going on…?”

“Just about the one that bit him. He was going to tell me more, but he just couldn’t. I don’t know what went down, but it must’ve really freaked him out.”

“It did. Look, it’s not my story to tell, I’ll let him do that. Just don’t pester him, ok? And don’t blame him…”

“Blame him for what?”

“For the way it’s affecting him.”

Lea didn’t know what to say to that, so she just sipped her coffee. But Jon had more questions.

“How well do you know each other?”

“Hardly at all. I was just down the hall for a couple of months when I first moved here. I helped him last time his head was playing up. We went to an exhibition in a gallery around here. Then he helped me move.”

Jon laughed, and Lea noticed how much better that suited him. “Did he now? Yeah, he’s sweet like that, is Norman…”

“Very sweet, yeah…”

Jon’s face was suddenly serious again, but he didn’t look unfriendly now, just concerned. “Just don’t break his heart, you hear…”

There were many things going through Lea’s head, many things she could’ve said. She briefly considered pretending she had no idea what Jon was talking about. But instead she just held his gaze, hoping he’d understand that she meant every word she said.

“I won’t ever do that.”

*

“Hey doc…” Norman lifted his right arm. “You unplugged me already… I must’ve been out of it, I didn’t notice a thing.”

“I’m good like that,” Lea smiled down at him. “How’re you feeling?”

She sat down next to him on the bed and took his wrist to feel his pulse.

“Much better. Tired though…”

“You can go back to sleep in a minute. Just wanted to check in before I go.”

“D’you have to go?”

“Afraid so. I’m on call this night.”

Now Norman suddenly looked miserable again. “I kept you from your rest, again, and ruined your day.”

“Course you didn’t, silly…” She pushed his hair off his forehead and stroked his face. His frown turned into a smile at her caress, then into an impish grin. He patted the bed beside him.

“Why do I only ever get you in here when I’m sick?”

Lea laughed and said with a wink, “You forgot: Wine and dine first.”

“Or Netflix and chill, right?” he retorted with a smile that brought the butterflies back.

“We’ll see. You get better first, ok? Rest and relaxation for a bit…”

Norman nodded. “It’ll all have to wait until after the holidays, anyway. Mingus and I are off to my mom’s in a few days. Hey, you going home for Christmas?”

“No, I’m having people round for a meal. You ever heard of that Humans of New York guy?”

“Course I have. Great pictures, and stories…”

“Yeah, they are. He does this thing where he hooks up people with each other who’re alone in the city to spend the holidays together. Thanksgiving, Christmas, so on… I went to this Japanese couple’s house for Thanksgiving, it was great. And this time I’m hosting the meal, for three people.”

“Wow, sounds like fun. Wish I could come.”

“No you don’t. You got your family…”

Norman’s face grew dark. Oh no, not another minefield, Lea thought. But then, clearly making an effort, he smiled and said, “You doing that for New Year’s, too?”

“No, for that I’ve been invited to my friend Sam’s house on the Upper East Side. She’s Jewish, so she’s not doing Christmas, but she’s making dinner for twenty people on New Year’s Eve… I don’t suppose… she did say I could bring a plus one…”

Norman looked genuinely disappointed. “Sorry… I promised Mingus he could bring his friends to our place. That way I can keep an eye on things, and still be the cool dad.”

“Of course…”

“Looks like I won’t see you now until the new year…” Lea wasn’t sure she wasn’t just imagining it, but he looked quite sad. “But we still gotta go to Harlem for the jazz. I’ll call you in January, ok?”

“Sounds good! I’m looking forward to the jazz, I really am, even though I have no idea what to expect. Now, rest, ok? And call me if you need anything. And call that new neurologist, I left a number on the kitchen counter. He’s really good, and he’s based at Langone.”

“Will do, doc. Thanks for everything, you’re so nice…”

He sounded a bit surprised, and her heart went out to him. Lea took the hand that lay on his chest and gave it a squeeze. “No problem. Sleep now.”

Norman held on to her fingers tightly and gave her a long, deep look. Then he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Thanks babe. See you next year.”


	8. Chapter 8

Christmas had been fun. Lea had dreaded it a little, spending the holidays with total strangers. She wasn’t a naturally social person, preferring to spend most of her free time alone. Meeting strangers was often stressful for her, and being in such a people-facing job meant that a lot of her time off was spent decompressing, which was needed if she wanted to prevent getting too stressed.

But New York was a new chapter in her life, and she’d promised herself to try and make friends when she could. Thanksgiving with the HONY people had been great, even though she’d felt a little awkward and found conversation a challenge some of the time. But nobody had pushed her to talk more than she’d felt comfortable with, so it had still been a good night. This had prompted her to offer to host the Christmas dinner.

And it had been a success. Two Puerto Rican students and a girl from Italy had come to her place and they’d cooked, then eaten together. There had been some wine, and then they’d played some games and even exchanged token presents. They’d also sung some Christmas carols, amongst much giggling. All in all, a really good night.

Now, though, things weren’t going to plan. Lea had just put the phone down, frowning. Her friend Sam, who had invited her to spend New Year’s Eve, had the flu, and had just called to cancel the whole thing. Even to Lea, who most days could take or leave the company of others, the thought spending her first New Year’s in New York on her own sounded a tad depressing.

As she sat gazing at nothing in particular, feeling depressed, her gaze fell on a last, leftover Christmas present on her coffee table. She touched it with one finger. It was a satire book on British vs. American English, and she’d picked it up as a spur of a moment thing from a bargain bookseller who’d set up a stall at the hospital. It was, of course, for Norman.

Smiling at the anticipation she felt at the thought of their next meeting Lea picked up her phone again and flicked through her texts. There it was:

_ Hey lodger. Wanna come over on NYE? Got a few friends coming, nothing big. Thought you’d fancy a trip to proper New York... Lemme know, C. _

Rolling her eyes at the Queens jibe Lea typed:  _Thanks 4 the invite. I’ll b there_ , then turned off her phone.

She didn’t really fancy being in the same building as Norman for an entire evening but unable to see him since he’d be with his son and she’d never even suggest barging in on that, but going to Carmine’s was still better than being alone on New Year’s Eve.

*

“Finally, there you are! Thought you weren’t gonna show at all…”

Lea returned Carmine’s quick hug, but secretly rolled her eyes. She’d been at his place nearly an hour already, but Carmine had been so busy with…something… in the kitchen, she’d hardly even glimpsed him over the crowd. His “few friends, nothing big” had turned out to be more than 40 people, and Lea was amazed they all even fitted into his apartment.

She was extremely pleased she didn’t live here anymore. People were already drunk, and she wouldn’t have fancied trying to sleep before daybreak in this house tonight.

“Good to see you too. How have you been?”

“Good, good… listen, I invited your boyfriend too. Good, eh?”

“He’s not my… oh, never mind. He won’t come, he’s busy.”

“Didn’t sound like he was. Met him in the hall yesterday and he definitely said he’d come…” Carmine looked distractedly at something behind Lea. “Hey, Joey! Good to see you, man…”

And with that he left her standing on her own. Lea didn’t care, she hardly even noticed. Was there really a chance Norman would show up? And if he was indeed suddenly free, why had he not phoned to take her up on her offer of going to Sam’s? He didn’t know that had been cancelled…

Lea walked over to where the drinks were set up on a table. Trying, and failing, to switch off the feeling of disappointment that Norman hadn’t been in touch Lea poured herself a glass of white wine.

She took a large gulp and turned around. And there he was, by the door, clearly having just arrived. Lea couldn’t help but feel a happiness bubble up in her at the thought of spending the evening in the same place as Norman. Never mind that he hadn’t called, here they both were now, that was all that mattered.

But then a dark-haired woman entered behind Norman. Lea’s heart sank. He’d brought someone along. And not just anyone, she noticed. Norman’s date looked like the woman in that photo on his wall, bound and blindfolded, covered in dust.

Lea froze. Hadn’t he said she was an ex-girlfriend? Why had he brought her?

Were they back together?

Lea looked around frantically. There was nowhere to hide in Carmine’s open plan living room. Norman and his date were right by the door, so she couldn’t just slip out undetected either. She ducked her head and moved sideways toward the window.

“Doc!”

Oh no! That was his voice. Lea turned around and, no surprise, saw Norman making his way toward her through the crowd, dark-haired friend ( _Girlfriend, call it as it is, you silly cow_ ) in tow. Lea tried a smile but wasn’t sure she even managed a grimace.

Norman stepped before her, grinning, obviously delighted. Lea felt suddenly angry. Had their moments together really meant so little? And was this the same man who’d called her babe the last time they’d parted, promising they’d soon go on a date again? He now motioned at his companion.

“Jarah, this is Lea. She’s helped my migraine...” He looked back at Lea. “Didn’t you have plans? Hadn’t expected to see you here…”

No, that much was obvious, Lea thought. Why did he not look even a little embarrassed? He’d even remembered she’d had plans, why had he failed to recall she’d invited him along to Sam’s?

Norman seemed oblivious to the fact that she hadn’t said anything, but the woman called Jarah regarded her curiously. Norman now waved in the direction of the drinks. “You want another, doc?”

Lea shook her head, and he looked at Jarah. Was it her imagination or was he fidgeting rather more than usual? Was he maybe trying to hide the fact that he remembered very well what he’d done?

“Jarah, rum and coke?”

“Yes please.” She turned her attention back to Lea as he wended his way through the crowd. “You looked after him at Langone?”

Lea nodded.

“He’s been talking about you a lot, you know…”

“Has he?” Lea tried not to care, but it gave her a stab through the heart. She’d obviously made an impression, but it was all about how good she’d looked after him when he’d been unwell. Suddenly Lea just couldn’t take it anymore, she had to get away now.

“Will you excuse me, I gotta…”

And with a vague gesture Lea turned toward the door, not looking at Jarah. She put her glass on a table in passing, then slipped from the apartment. Nobody tried to stop her.

Out in the corridor Lea leaned against the wall. She should’ve known this had been inevitable. Why would a guy like Norman ever be interested in her when he had the likes of Jarah swarming him wherever he went? She’d let her desire rule her heart, and she hardly recognized herself.

_ You’re surprisingly stupid for someone this clever, doc… _

Lea shook her head to clear it and pushed herself away from the wall. If she hurried she could still catch the subway home before all the revelers took to the street and made her feel even more miserable.

*

“Jarah, your drink… where did she go?”

“Your doc, you mean?”

“Yeah…”

“She left.”

“Why? What did you say?”

“ _What did I say_? Norman, think! You didn’t know she was coming, did you?”

“No.”

“Where did you think she’d be tonight?”

“A friend’s party…”

“And…”

“And what?”

“I don’t know… did she ask you to come with her, maybe?”

“I was gonna be with Mingus…”

“But you’re not…”

“No, cos… oh no! D’you mean… I didn’t think.”

“That’s pretty obvious.”

“So, cos you and I… oh god, what do I do now?”

“Oh good lord… poor girl. I should warn her… men, honestly. Call her, Norman. Now.”

“What if she doesn’t answer?”

“Well, better pray she does…”

*

Lea went home, and on the way did something she hadn’t done once since coming to New York. She went to a bodega near her local subway station and bought a huge tub of ice cream, a pack of cookies and several chocolate bars. These she carried home, both elated at the thought of the impending binge and feeling incredibly frustrated that a man, any man, could make her resort back to this coping behavior which she thought she’d long left behind her.

When she got home Lea locked the door but didn’t bother turning the lights on. She dropped her bag, coat and keys and toed off her shoes on the floor right by the door. Then she set up her laptop by the light of the streetlamp and got a spoon from the kitchen. While the computer booted she opened the ice cream tub and started eating. The ice cream was so cold it didn’t really taste of anything. A freezing lump started forming in her stomach as she steadily brought the spoon to her mouth, but it hardly bothered her. But the familiar routine of stuffing herself with crappy food held even less pleasure than she remembered.

Once the computer was awake Lea opened a browser and settled herself on the sofa with the laptop on her knees. She thought for a moment, then began to type.

_ Norman Reedus and Jarah _

Her screen filled with images of Norman and the dark-haired beauty, at parties, out in the street, and the now familiar photoshoot image of her gagged and bound, which Lea saw was part of a series. She learned that they’d been together for several years, and that it was rumored to have ended before Norman started on The Walking Dead. Some fans on a message board were speculating that Jarah was the girl from an interview where Norman had mentioned breaking up with someone just before moving to Georgia.

Reading that particular interview made Lea feel sad. He sounded so casual, almost callous in describing the break-up. An unwelcome thought crept into her mind: If that was his attitude to women and relationships maybe she’d had a narrow escape.

But then she remembered his eyes on her, his smile, his gentle sweetness and the awkwardness that seemed always so close when they’d kissed and talked. She’d believed then that he was genuine. Would she really let one printed quote from an old interview take precedent over her own experiences?

However, she also remembered the other things that had transpired between them, and those that just hadn’t. Norman hadn’t called her when his New Year’s Eve plans had fallen through. Instead, he’d clearly called Jarah.

And what did Lea really know about him, anyway? He hadn’t even trusted her enough to tell her about the strange things that had been going on with his fans.

Of course, Norman didn’t owe her anything. He’d made no promises. It had all been very casual, just two friends hanging out. And until tonight she’d not even met anyone else who was important to him, except Jon at the hospital, and just like the encounter tonight that had been an accident. Lea didn’t know Norman, and neither did he know her.

Maybe her hunch had been correct. She was a convenient person to know for when he was unwell. Taking her to the gallery, and promising the jazz club date were merely gestures of thanks to a friend who’d helped him out. He’d never even confirmed that he was single. That thought got her typing again.

_ Norman Reedus girlfriend _

As she read Lea wished she hadn’t done that particular search. There were pages after pages of the same rumor: Norman had been seen making out with Diane Kruger in a sleazy New York bar a couple weekends ago. Lea vaguely knew who that was because Diane was German, too. As she read now she saw that the rumor had been denied by all involved parties, and that consensus among fans was that it was just a nasty lie.

But that didn’t really make her feel better. Was this what people did online? They talked about this sort of thing when they talked about him? And he’d had to deal with it all this time and hadn’t mentioned it? She didn’t know that she needed this sort of crap in her life.

There were other rumors as well, of Norman and a former colleague called Emily, and about him and that tall, leggy woman Lea had seen in the hallway at Norman’s place all these weeks ago. Well, at least she knew this last rumor to be untrue, he himself had said she was an ex.

Or was it the truth? According to Google Jarah was an ex, too, and yet they’d been at Carmine’s party together. That encounter, and her online search just brought it home to Lea that she really knew nothing about Norman’s life.

And then, many pages down into a fan message board she stopped dead, feeling as if her blood had just frozen. A paparazzi photo showed herself, outside that gallery, jostled from all sides and held protectively by Joanne.

It was bad enough to see herself, looking pale and stressed in the camera’s flashing light, but the comment underneath the photo made her feel as if someone had just punched her in the gut.

“Now who is that fat cow?”

Lea looked down at herself wearing the same black dress she’d worn that night, since it was still the only non-casual thing she owned right now. She hadn’t thought she’d looked particularly fat in it, but of course that’s what she was, compared with the skinny girls usually photographed with Norman.

Then her eyes fell on the almost empty ice cream tub, and the chocolate wrappers strewn all around the laptop. With shaking fingers Lea switched off the computer. She picked up the remnants of her binge and took them through to the kitchen in a trance. She had no recollection at all of eating all that rubbish, aside from a slightly queasy feeling in her overfull stomach.

She went through to the bedroom, stripping off the black dress as she walked. For a moment she considered putting her finger down her throat and making herself throw up. But she’d always hated that, and had never been very good at it. Besides, people already thought she was fat. This was her perfect punishment. She didn’t deserve to be skinny.

And she sure as hell didn’t deserve Norman.

*

The first day of the new year was always busy, in every hospital Lea had ever worked. She’d not been signed up for the early shift, since she’d planned to be out much later the night before. Since she was only part-time working as an ER doc she had to do fewer of the unpopular shifts, and recently she hadn’t minded that at all. The research project had just set off properly and she’d cut back a little on the shifts. But when Lea woke up at 4am on 1 January and couldn’t go back to sleep she decided to go to work. She knew that any extra hands on deck would be appreciated today.

When Lea got into work and put her things into her locker, she realized that she’d not brought her phone. In fact, she was pretty sure she’d not looked at it since before she’d set off for Carmine’s the night before. Lea mentally gave a shrug. She didn’t need her phone at work. Every doctor had a hospital cell that doubled as pager, and which she usually left at work unless on call. She put that into her lab coat pocket now and left the staff changing room.

This 1 January turned out to be even busier than what Lea was used to from London. She threw herself into her work, finding the distraction both necessary and welcome. When she finally left the ER at 8pm and drove home Lea was numb with exhaustion and hardly managed to step out of her work clothes before collapsing into bed.

The sound that woke her at 3am was entirely unfamiliar but had her immediately sitting bolt upright in bed.

Someone was on her balcony!

Heart hammering Lea crept out of bed. Where was her phone? She frantically felt for it in the pockets of her scrubs on the bedroom floor but then remembered that she had forgotten to bring it to work that day. It must still be in her clutch bag that was lying in a heap by the door together with her coat where she’d flung them after getting back from Carmine’s. There was no way to get to it without being seen through the patio doors.

Lea crouched on the floor, undecided. What to do? Then, suddenly, there came a knock on the balcony door.

Burglars didn’t knock, Lea was sure of that. There, another knock. Then, very faintly, she heard a voice, and it seemed to be calling her name.

Lea straightened up, walked carefully around the bedroom door and peered toward the back window in the living room. There was the outline of a person visible through the glass. Lea had a feeling she knew who it was.

“Norman!”

Dizzy with relief she hurried to open the door, forgetting momentarily everything that had happened. But the memory returned with a rush as she looked into Norman’s awkward, nervous face through the glass. She opened the patio doors but didn’t step aside to let him in.

“What are you doing here?”

Her question was almost a hiss. He looked at her, and even though the moonlight was drawing all color from his face Lea was sure he was blushing furiously. Norman only managed to hold her gaze another second, then looked down, scuffing his feet. His voice was almost inaudible when he spoke.

“You’re mad…”

Lea could hardly believe her eyes or her ears now. “ _Did you climb over the garden fence_?”

He nodded miserably, not looking up.

“But why? Why not just, you know, ring the doorbell?”

“I didn’t think you’d open the door.”

“And this,” she motioned at him on her balcony, “is better how, exactly?”

He shrugged, stepping awkwardly from one foot onto the other.

“Someone could’ve called the police. Norman, this is Queens.  _Someone might’ve shot you on sight_. Are you insane?!”

His hands bunched into those painful knots again and his shoulders hunched up as if he expected her to hit him. For once Lea didn’t feel the least bit sorry for him, or find his awkwardness endearing. She was simply livid.

“’m sorry, so sorry… I messed up… that’s why I came…”

“Why didn’t you just call?”

“I did. You got about a hundred voice messages by now…”

That almost made her laugh, simply because she had a feeling he wasn’t exaggerating much.

“D’you… shall I just go?”

Lea sighed and leaned against the doorframe. She was getting cold, and she was so tired… but she found that she didn’t want him to go, despite everything.

“Since you’re here you might as well come in. My feet are freezing, and I’m tired standing around…”

Lea stepped aside and Norman hurried into her living room, giving her a quick, almost fearful glance. She closed the door behind him, then went to the sofa, picked up her favorite quilt and curled up on the sofa, legs beneath her, as far away as she could get from Norman and still be in the same room with him.

He stood without moving, half turned away from her, still twisting his fingers and not looking up. For a few minutes neither of them spoke. Lea kept her eyes on him but made no move to break the silence. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, and what she wanted to happen next.

When he finally spoke it was so low Lea could only hear him because everything was so quiet.

“I’ve fucked it all up, I know… I forgot about New Year’s, it’s been so busy, and Christmas… it’s not very nice in my family, and I got so stressed. But I should’ve remembered, I don’t know what happened…” He looked at her then, misery etched into his eyes. “Doesn’t make it any better… ‘m such an idiot sometimes…”

“You’ve been a bit, yeah…”

“What can I do, to make it up to you?”

“You don’t owe me anything, I’ve told you before… Maybe it  _would_  be better if you just left now…”

Norman half turned toward the door, and her heart suddenly hurt terribly. But then he stopped. He didn’t turn around when he spoke again. “But I don’t want to do that… I don’t want to never see you again. D’you want that? If you really want me to fuck off I will…”

“What about Jarah?”

He glanced around, and now looked close to tears. “That’s the most fucked-up thing of all… She’s just a friend, Lea. I swear… We’ve been finished such a long time… She’s told me so many times I’m a jerk, and she’s so right…”

“And Diane?”

That made him look like he’d just received a physical blow. “You googled me, huh?”

His voice sounded so defeated, it went right through her. He didn’t sound angry, just resigned, and incredibly sad. Lea suddenly felt ashamed. “That was low, I shouldn’t have brought it up…”

But Norman shook his head. “No, no, I deserve it…”

Suddenly Lea didn’t think so anymore. He’d messed up, sure. He’d been a total man about it all, but was that a reason for her to play the poor little victim? She was better than that, surely.

She motioned at him. “Come here.”

Norman came over to the sofa and sat as far away from her as he could. He didn’t look at her but Lea could tell he had more to say, so she kept quiet.

“’m no good at this… I have no game. I know people think I just say that, but it’s true… I mess up, all the time. Stuff gets confusing and I just lose track. And then I hurt people, cos I can’t get my shit together…”

Half-conscious that it signaled the beginning of her forgiveness Lea uncrossed her arms and legs and leaned forward. Norman still wasn’t done, it was painfully obvious that he was psyching himself up to get the next bit out right.

“And you’re so damn confusing…”

Lea burst out laughing. “Confusing, me? How’s that?”

“I can’t figure out what you want from me… no fancy outings, no photos snapped by paps… it’s like you don’t care I’m famous…”

It was again one of those statements that could’ve sounded dickish, but didn’t. Norman merely seemed bemused, like he’d never come across someone who just wanted him for himself.

Lea had to ask, the idea just sounded so alien to her. “But why would I want that? The notoriety, being talked about?”

“I don’t know, but girls usually do…”

“Well, firstly, I’m not a girl…”

“No,” he agreed, “you’re not.”

“And that pap photo thing…” She hesitated, the memory still made her feel humiliated. “There was a picture of me, from the gallery, on a message board. I hated that…”

He nodded, looking miserable again. “I saw that… was gonna tell them to take it down…”

“No!” Lea almost shouted. He looked at her curiously. “That’s exactly the sort of thing I don’t want… if you get involved, they’ll know I was there with you. That we are…”

“It’s not true, anyway.” He looked at her shyly now. “You’re not fat…”

Thinking of the ice cream tub still at the bottom of her kitchen bin Lea was sure he was only saying that to make her feel better, but it was sweet nevertheless.

“I am though, compared to…”

He made an impatient gesture. “So what? You’re amazing in so many ways, do you really think I care you’re no stick insect? It’s like those model types are the only ones dare talk to me these days, I didn’t make that rule…”

She smiled at that, allowing herself to lean a bit closer. “You want to know what I want? From you?”

Norman looked surprised, but then nodded. “Yeah… course I wanna know!”

“I want to spend time with you. We’re both crazy busy, but I’m sure that must be possible, somehow… “

“And…?”

“No and. That’s it. I don’t care what we do. Just get to know each other, I suppose.”

His gaze in hers was indescribable, and all the butterflies were back at once. Norman closed the gap between them. He looked down again, but this time it was to find her hands still hidden in the quilt. He took them both in his and held on, stroking the soft skin on her inner wrist.

“We can do that,” he said quietly, almost as if to himself. “I want that too…”

Then he looked up again, his eyes huge and full of warmth, quite different from how she’d ever seen them. “And there’s one more thing I want…”

He leaned in and kissed her.

There were numerous romantic fantasies that fans had published online, Lea had seen, wondering incessantly what kind of lover Norman would be. She’d also seen videos of him with some co-stars from years ago, fooling around making lewd jokes. Now Lea learned first-hand that neither the overly sweet perfect boyfriend fantasies nor the playboy-like, flirty persona Norman sometimes adopted came very close to the truth.

They stayed on the sofa for a long time. Norman’s hands started on her back, stroking her shoulders, wandering up to her neck, her face. His fingers, short and broad and strong were so gentle on her skin they felt like butterfly wings. But Lea could feel the energy in them, and wondering what he could and would do to her with those hands made her shudder in anticipation.

When they finally broke apart Norman kept hold of her hands and looked at her searchingly.

“D’you want this?”

“Yes. Do you?”

“Yes. I just don’t want it to be weird.”

“Because you think I’ll want more than just this night?”

He shook his head. “No, cos I think I might want more…”

Lea placed a finger against his lips. “Try and let this night be only about this night. I will…”

He nodded, silent now. Getting to his feet he pulled her up with him, then led her toward the bedroom.

Lea followed. She had an inkling that what was to follow would be nothing like what she expected, but that she’d never once regret having made the decision to be with Norman that night.

And that, as far as it went, turned out to be true.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh all right then, I wrote a little sex chapter. Hope you like it...:)

She is on her back, goosebumps covering her from head to toe, or so it feels. She can’t see him, he’s somewhere at the foot of the bed. Her eyes are trained onto the ceiling. Her ceiling, she sees if every night, but now every crack, every dirt mark seems unfamiliar.

Crossing her arms over her chest she realizes how cold her hands are. She shivers.

And then his hands are on her. Gentle, tentative, starting to stroke her upwards from somewhere around her knees. His broad fingertips with the slight calluses are teasing, exquisite, and as they brush the side of her thighs her body starts to tremble, and she knows she’ll never be able to stop.

He doesn’t touch her most intimate place – not yet, still time, patience, patience… but instead moves on to her stomach, stroking her sides, her ribs. She feels briefly ashamed, her body is so far from perfect. Not slim and taut and beautiful, like what he knows, what he probably expected… She briefly closes her eyes, steeling herself to look at him, afraid of what she’ll see in his face.

When she finally does look his eyes are on her, and she know he’s been watching her. He lets his hands glide down her side again as he kneels down on the bed by her side, then rests them on her stomach.  _It’s ok, don’t be embarrassed. I don’t mind._

“I want you so much.”

She can hardly believe her ears. Hesitantly one arm comes up and she places a hand flat against his chest. The hairs there tickle her fingers as she lets them travel and explore, and now they’re both trembling.

He lies down next to her then, on his side, and she turns over onto her left to face him. So far she’s not dared look down to where her eyes want to go so badly, but now she can’t wait any longer. Together with her hand her gaze wanders from his face, over his chest and the impossibly broad, muscular shoulders, down to his belly and the almost ginger, surprisingly fine hair there.

Her hand lingers, she lets her fingers travel up and down a few times, and he exhales with a slow sigh. When she looks up his eyes are closed and he’s resting his head on his arm, looking utterly relaxed. She smiles to herself, happy simply to be able to make him feel good with a gentle touch.

Then, eyes still closed, he takes her hand in his and pulls it down, and she feels him hard and soft as silk against her fingertips. She still doesn’t dare look for another moment, but then she does, and she has to smile again. He is hard, so hard, ready for her, for this. Her hand closes around his shaft and she starts slow strokes, varying the pressure and speed until he’s shivering. She could do this only, until he comes. In fact, the thought of his seed hotly spilling over her hand gives her a warm heaviness deep inside, and her breath pics up.

But he has other ideas.

“Lie back.”

She obliges, lets go of him, and he moves in incredibly close, his erection pressing into her hip. And then his fingers are on her, inside of her, and she forgets everything. How can a man, a virtual stranger, be so good at this, know exactly, precisely what to do to make her feel this way? She’s more aroused, more ready for this, for him, than she’s ever been in her life. Her hips buck up, into his hand, eager, desperate for more, and his strong, skilled fingers cause her to twitch under him more and more uncontrollably.

She’s close, sososo close.

She hardly notices him pulling away, preparing himself, he is so quick. And then he’s on top, lifting her legs up, and she bears down as he enters her. She’s so slick, so ready, it hardly registers as uncomfortable for even a second.

His rhythm is perfect, he pays close attention to her breath hitching, picking up. But that’s not all. His fingers are back on her, he finds her clit and the perfect pressure; the gentle rubbing sensation brings her close to tipping point within seconds.

She arches her head back with a groan, and his mouth is on her collarbone, her shoulder, her ear.

“Don’t hold back. ’m so close. Come for me…”

And he thrusts, with a moan, and then she can feel him tense, feel his fingers on her clit give one last push. She puts her hand on his and holds him still, right there. And then they’re coming, together, and even then, in her blissed-out state she marvels that they managed this on the first try.

He slides off her and snuggles close, pulling her into his arms and nuzzling her head with a sigh.

She lies very still as she savors the sensations, endorphins coursing through her. She can feel his heart slowing down against her chest, hears his breathing calm, and she relaxes into his arms.

This is perfect, there’s no better place to be than in this bed, with this man, right here and now.

 


	10. Chapter 10

“But if someone sees us?”

“So what?”

Lea was pacing in her living room, nervously biting down on her nail and looking for her second shoe, phone pressed to her ear.

“There’ll be pictures, and people will talk…”

“Let them. I don’t care. Do you?”

“I don’t know… you’re used to this, all that gossip. I don’t know if I could stand it all…”

“Then don’t look online. Nobody will do it to your face. Please… it’s been so long since… will you come?”

She sighed, stooping to retrieve the shoe she’d just located under the sofa.

“Of course I will, Norman. I’m just so nervous…”

“We won’t do anything news worthy, I promise.”

“All right then…”

“Great! See you in an hour. Corner of 50th and 8th Ave, ok?”

“Ok…”

*

Lea went through her wardrobe nervously. Jeans and t-shirt, he’d said, and been quite adamant about it. She didn’t mind, but felt even more frumpy than in her black dress when she looked into the mirror. She’d never really been a make-up person, but she used a bit of mascara and kohl now. Norman had told her he didn’t like girls wearing lots of make-up. Or had she read that in one of his interviews? Lea didn’t know anymore.

One reason for her nervousness was all the preparation that had gone into this outing. Norman had called her a few days before to explain the plans.

“No touching while we’re on the street, ok?”

“Ok.”

“You don’t want more pap photos of you popping up, right?”

“True… It’s fine, I agree. No touching.”

She was fine with this in any case. Lea was still unsure what the two of them were, or where they were heading, or how far she wanted this to go, so keeping a bit of distance when they were around other people seemed very sensible.

“There’ll be a few of my friends with us, so if anyone starts snapping pictures it’s just a group of friends out for some jazz.”

“Your entourage…”

He’d sighed then, and she could tell he found all of this at least as annoying as she did.

“I hate that it has to be like this, I really do. Sure, we could go on our own, but that  _would_  be splashed on every front page and gossip blog, I can promise you that…”

“I’m sorry… It’s fine, really…”

“Shit, I hate this…”

“Norman. It’s ok, honey, seriously…”

“All right… yes, yes it is…” He’d taken a deep, calming breath. “There shouldn’t really be any fans or paps, nobody knows anything about this. But if anyone does approach me for a selfie just hang back. I’ll deal with it.”

“Okay… don’t be nervous, honey. I won’t mess up.”

“I know you won’t. But it still sucks. Wish I could spare you all this…”

Now it was time to leave. Lea checked her bag one last time while she replayed that conversation in her head. With a sigh she squared her shoulders and opened the front door.

Whatever else tonight would turn out to be, it would certainly be an experience.

*

The people who were to accompany them turned out to be very nice. There were two couples again, two women of Lea’s age and one more unaccompanied man. Lea wasn’t great at remembering several names at once, and in social situations didn’t have access to her usual crutch of patient notes and her clipboard as she did at work. The two women quickly took charge of her, and she was able to remember they were called Lisa and Susan.

It didn’t alarm Lea as much this time when Norman, after a quick peck to her cheek and a surreptitious squeeze of her hand, disappeared amongst the two couples and the single man, with whom he took the lead down into the subway station.

On the train Lea sat between the two women who chatted animatedly, making sure she felt included. Lea tried not to stare at Norman who was sitting opposite them, or show her surprise at the things the two women talked about. They both seemed to work with famous people, in what capacity Lea couldn’t quite understand. They seemed as fascinated and at a loss with the things she told them about her own life however, which oddly made her feel better.

It was a very short walk from the subway to the club, and as they approached one of the men up front with Norman had a quick word with the bouncers before they were led inside. They seemed to be quite early, and the small club looked still about half empty when Lea’s eyes got used to the dim interior.

A smiling woman in very high heels led them to a large table hidden in an alcove, from which the view of the stage was excellent but nobody could see them properly without being very obvious.

Suddenly Norman was by her side, and with a hand in the small of her back ushered Lea into a seat. He quickly dropped down next to her, and the other man without a partner sat down on Lea’s other side, smiling at her. Norman took off his sunglasses and put them into the collar of his shirt, rubbing his eyes.

“Thank god that’s over…” He looked at Lea searchingly. “You ok?”

“I’m fine, yeah. Good table…”

“Only the best for our Normie when he wants to take out his latest conquest…,” came from her other side, and Lea turned around and looked at the blond man on her left. He looked vaguely familiar now that she had time to study his face.

“This is Sean,” came Norman’s voice from behind her. “Don’t listen to a word he says.”

Lea took Sean’s offered hand, but instead of shaking hers the man brought it to his lips with a flourish and kissed her fingers. Lea wasn’t sure whether to giggle or roll her eyes.

“I know who you are. You were in that film together, you and Norman. Boondocks, right?”

“Boondock Saints,” Sean corrected. “The ‘Saints’ part is very important.”

Lea hadn’t seen the film, but she’d seen some clips of Sean and Norman on YouTube. He was the one with whom Norman always behaved a bit like a big child.

Now Lea felt Norman’s hand on her thigh under the table, and couldn’t help grinning and blushing a little. She caught Sean’s smirk and had a feeling the blond man knew exactly what was going on between her and Norman. Lea lowered her eyes. Sean was making her a bit nervous. She turned around and looked at Norman.

Sean, the strange journey to Harlem and the tension she still felt were forgotten when her eyes met Norman’s. He smiled, a little sadly she thought, but also relieved.

“We made it. Wish all this,” he gestured at the group, the cramped alcove, “wasn’t necessary, though…”

“Never mind,” Lea smiled back and put her hand on top of his still resting on her leg. “You’re here, and I’m here. I don’t care about the rest.”

“Hope you’ll enjoy the music, though. The band’s real good here.”

Sean nudged Lea and pointed at a waiter hovering by their table. “Tell your dude to take his hands out of your panties for a moment so he can concentrate on the drinks order.”

Norman saw her face crease in a frown and gave a chuckle. He punched Sean on the arm behind her back, then leaned in and whispered so close to her ear it gave her goosebumps all up and down her spine.

“Ignore him, seriously.” Aloud he said, “Yeah, let’s order drinks.”

They ordered wine, beer, long drinks, and nibbles for the table and then sat chatting, waiting for the band to start playing. Everyone was friendly, and even Sean reined in his oddly aggressive type of banter when Norman gave him an annoyed look. When the band started playing Lea felt relaxed enough to finally start drinking her G&T, which she’d only pushed from one hand to the other until then.

It was dark and cozy in their corner and Norman moved closer and closer. Now he put his arm around her shoulders and she nuzzled close. He looked into her eyes for a long moment, and Lea felt a happiness she hadn’t thought possible after everything they’d had to go through to get here tonight. Norman’s eyes slid from Lea to something behind her and when she turned around Sean was looking at her, now with a genuine smile and a sparkle in his eyes. Lea took Norman’s hand in hers and laced their fingers together, and he pulled her into a long kiss.

About twenty minutes after the music had started one of the bouncers Lea remembered from the entrance came up to their table and bent down to talk to one of the men sitting closest to the entrance to their alcove. The man frowned and quickly looked at Sean, then at Norman.

“We should probably go,” he called across the table. “Sean, there’s a scrum forming at the entrance…”

Norman looked dismayed and Lea’s heart started beating faster as he gripped her hand hard. She turned to him.

“What’s going on?”

His voice was tense when he answered, but he didn’t look at her. Instead he gave Sean a quick, fearful glance.

“Paps and touts, bet you everything…”

Sean looked very concerned now. All banter forgotten, his face serious, he stood up.

“All right, let’s get ready, everyone. I’ll call us cabs.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed.

None of the others seemed surprised, but they all moved quickly, putting on their jackets and settling the bill. The women especially kept throwing Norman, and Lea, pitying, worried glances.

Lea felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around. It was Sean, but he was looking over at Norman, not at her.

”Cabs will be a couple minutes. You ok, man?”

Lea followed Sean’s gaze. Norman had gone pale, and he looked miserable. What was going on? Why was this such a big deal?

But then Lea remembered the crowds outside the gallery, the stress she’d felt herself when they’d not even been interested in her, and she understood. She took Norman’s hand again and gave it a quick squeeze. He looked over, surprised. She was sure he’d almost forgotten she was even here.

Sean leaned close now and whispered in her ear. “Go with the girls again, ok? It’ll be all right, I’ll stay with him…”

Lisa came and took Lea by the arm, and they filed out after Norman and Sean. The two couples were leading the way, and Susan brought up the rear.

When they stepped outside Lea felt like she was having a déjà vu. It was the gallery all over again, and her heart was beating fast. It wasn’t yet as busy as the pavement outside the gallery, there were maybe ten people right now. When they spotted Norman and Sean they surged forward, surrounding them within seconds. Lea thought she saw Norman tense, but he smiled mechanically and started signing autographs while Sean posed for pictures, all the while staying close by Norman’s side.

Then someone bumped hard into Lea from behind, making her stagger. As she looked up another half dozen people suddenly surrounded them. Somehow, they seemed different. Lea noticed they were all men. Some had expensive-looking cameras, a few held large posters from the show. What happened next was over so fast Lea would always struggle to remember the details.

She was a few feet behind Norman, who had just turned right to walk toward two waiting taxis. One of the men who’d just appeared, carrying a large camera, put his hand on Norman’s shoulder. To Lea it looked like he grabbed on quite hard, and then he pulled Norman back, whispering something in his ear that Lea couldn’t hear.

Suddenly, Norman spun around, both hands on the man, slamming him hard into the wall of the club. Lea was dimly aware that she gave a little yelp of fright, before surging forward, trying to grab hold of Norman. Lisa was by her side, attempting to hold her back but failing.

“What  _the fuck_ are you doing… how  _dare_  you…”

Norman’s voice was a snarl, Lea hardly recognized it. Norman’s arm was across the man’s neck, and she saw the man turn slowly blue.

“Norman, no! Let him go…”

Lea put a hand on his arm, and Norman rounded on her with a thunderous expression on his face. His eyes were like two hot coals, both dark and on fire at the same time.

She recoiled from the furious glare. Lea had never seen anyone this angry, this ferocious-looking, and certainly had never had anyone look at her like this. Norman’s hand gripping her wrist was like a vice.

“Norman!”

Sean stepped around Lea and put his arm around Norman’s shoulders, and slowly, as Lea watched with horror, Norman’s face changed. He seemed to crumple in on himself, leaning into Sean and lowering his face. His grip on Lea’s wrist went slack and then his hand dropped limply to his side.

“C’mon…”

As Sean started to lead him away Lea was sure she heard Norman sob.

Lea stood rooted to the spot, hardly aware of all the people around them, staring. What had just happened? She felt shaky, almost faint. Her heart was beating fast and her mind was reeling. Norman… that sweet, funny guy… she hadn’t even recognized him just now.

A hand on her arm made her startle, but it was only Lisa.

“Let’s go…”

Lea allowed herself to be led away toward the waiting taxis. She watched as Norman climbed into the back of the closest one, helped by Sean. Then Sean beckoned at her.

“Come with us…”

For a moment Lea wanted to refuse, but Lisa gave her a small push. “It’s ok, you can trust Sean. He’ll calm Norman down, he’ll be ok…”

Glancing over her shoulder Lea thought that the other woman looked a little doubtful, despite the encouraging words. She still felt very shaky.

Did she want to go back with Norman? Maybe it’d be better if she went home on the subway. It wasn’t very late yet, and it wouldn’t be difficult. The snarling, wild expression she’d seen on Norman’s face flashed before her eyes again. Sean was giving her a worried look now, and Lisa pushed her toward the car. Almost against her will Lea started walking.

Sean, looking relieved, climbed into the middle seat, and Lea got in after him. She glanced over at Norman, but he had his head lowered and didn’t look at her. The sunglasses were back in place.

“Where to?” The taxi driver regarded them impatiently in the rear view mirror. Sean looked at her, then at Norman.

“D’you want Lea to come back home with us?”

Norman turned his head toward the window and didn’t reply. Lea felt a stab through her heart.

“No, Sean. I’ll go home.”

She recited her address for the driver, who rolled his eyes and wended into the traffic.

They didn’t speak all throughout the journey. Lea glanced over at Norman a few times, but he never even moved. A few times Sean said something to him in a low voice, but Norman ignored him as completely as he ignored Lea.

When they arrived outside her house Lea opened the door, desperate to be gone. Sean held her back with a hand on her arm, but when she looked around all she could see in his eyes was helplessness.

“I’m sorry…”

Lea lowered her eyes. “It’ not your fault… night…”

With one last look over at Norman, who was still staring out of the window, she got out.

Lea stood and watched the taxi drive away, feeling nothing but numbness. It made no sense, what had happened, and she had no idea how they could ever come back from this. She absent-mindedly rubbed her wrist where Norman had grabbed her so hard.

As she slowly climbed the stairs in the cold, frosty night Lea thought to herself that she should have known this thing with her and Norman could never work.

But if someone had told her that it would end like this she’d have thought them crazy.


	11. Chapter 11

The beeping of her phone woke her in the middle of the night. Lea groped for it on the bedside table and squinted at the little screen. It hadn’t been a text she’d received; the little light flashing indicated that she had a new email. Despite the numbness which had not left her since she’d bolted from the taxi earlier in the evening her heart beat faster when she saw who it was from.

Sender: NR <bigbaldhead@gmail.com>

Subject: Don’t hate me…

_There’s nothing I can say that’ll make this better, I know that. I can’t apologize anymore, it’s just a joke now…_

_But please read the attachment? I should’ve shown u this much sooner… then u could’ve told me to fuck off…_

_I never meant to hurt u…_

_N_

Lea pressed the download icon for the attached file, and while it downloaded she considered briefly to just delete the email and draw a line under this chapter of her New York life once and for all.

But she couldn’t do it. Even though the thought of Norman as he’d been in Harlem this evening, and his complete shutdown in the cab, she couldn’t forget that sweet, gorgeous man she’d shared that amazing night with in this very bed.

Her phone blinked when the download finished and Lea double tapped on the icon to open the file.

 

Fayetteville Police Department

_Incidence Report – Domestic Trespassing and Property Damage_

Date: Tuesday, July 22, 2015; 3.35 am

Protocolling officer: Sergeant S. Smith

Address: [blank]

Details:

At 11.30 pm on Monday July 21, 2015 a call was received by Sergeant S. Smith, officer in charge at Fayetteville PD from [Address blanked out]. The owner and inhabitant of the aforementioned property, Mr. Norman Reedus, reported several trespassers on his property. He said he could hear them moving around outside, both at the front of the house and on the terrace. Mr. Reedus told the officer that people had been loitering outside his house for several days already. He had encountered them again that day as he returned from work and had signed autographs for them (Mr. Reedus works as an actor on a TV show which is being shot locally), then had asked them to leave. Mr. Reedus could not say with absolute certainty whether these individuals were identical with the trespassers currently on his property.

While the officer was still on the phone with Mr. Reedus the sound of glass breaking could be heard in the background. The officer asked Mr. Reedus the cause of the noise, and Mr. Reedus replied that somebody had just thrown a large paving stone through his patio door, shattering the glass. The officer immediately alerted all patrol vehicles in the area, told Mr. Reedus to stay as far away from the broken door as possible, and not engage any of the intruders.

Two police vehicles arrived at the property within ten minutes and arrested the following individuals:

  * [blanked]
  * [blanked]
  * [blanked]



They were remanded in custody and will go before the judge in the morning (July 22, 2015), who will decide on bail. Mr. Reedus is still deliberating whether to press charges.

Appendix, as requested by the judge: Excerpt of the phone call audio recording

Sergeant S. Smith

Supervisor: A. Levine

 

_Appendix: Distress call audio recording_

Sergeant S. Smith [SS] – duty officer; Mr. Norman Reedus [NR] – resident at [address blanked]

SS: Sir, where are you now?

NR: I… I’m in my bedroom. Think… I can hear footsteps in the living room…

SS: Sir, can you lock the door to the room you’re in?

NR: I think so… yes, yes… Locked it…

SS: Good. Mr. Reedus, I will stay on the phone with you until my colleagues arrive. They’re only five minutes away. Stay quiet, keep your voice down, and don’t engage the burglars.

NR: Ok…

SS: Mr. Reedus…

NR: Can… can you call me Norman?

SS: Of course. Norman, have you got any firearms in the house?

NR: Not real ones. A couple props, from set…

SS: Ok, good. Are you home alone, Norman?

NR: My… my cat is here, too. He was… I don’t know where he is… oh god, I have to find him!

SS: Norman, stay calm. Listen to me. It’s not safe to go looking for your cat right now. He’ll be fine, he’s probably hiding. My priority is to keep you safe. Ok? You with me?

NR: Yeah… yeah, ok…

SS: Good. Norman, did you see the people who threw the stone? Do you know how many there were?

NR: No… I didn’t see anyone, I just heard them. There were many feet… It sounded like several people out on the deck… oh god, why does this keep happening? What do they all want? I can’t do this anymore…

SS: Norman, my colleagues have arrived. They’re out front. Is there another way into the house?

NR: Yes, through… through the bedroom, where I’m now…

SS: Ok, Norman. Stay put, the officers are coming around now…

_[end transcript]_

*

He’d been pacing in his living room all night. Exhausted now, so tired, but he just couldn’t stop. And just like his body wouldn’t settle, up and down, to and fro, smoking on the balcony until he felt sick, his mind was racing, trapped in that fucking feedback loop.

Why?

Whywhywhy?

Why had he snapped? Well, at least there was an answer to that. A shitty one, and he hated himself for how he had reacted, what he’d become – so scared, always, stressed, antsy and less and less able to function with every new thing that freaked him out – but at least there was a reason for his freak-outs.

That break-in, that horrible time over the summer, with the stalkers, and the drones, and all the insinuations, had traumatized him.

But why had he attacked that guy so ferociously? Why become so violent? That wasn’t him, ever.

And why, oh why, had he nearly attacked her? Why had he reacted so shittily afterwards? Why had he not apologized, begged her to forgive him, right away?

He didn’t want to lose her. The thought caused him physical pain, like a punch to the gut, a fist squeezing his insides.

And yet he’d done exactly that. Driven her away. Terrified her, no explanation, no apology. That he would never hurt her, had never hit a woman in his life, she had no way of knowing.

And anyway, was that true? Before, he’d adamantly confirmed it, denied with his last breath that he could ever even entertain the idea of hurting his girl. But now, was he still that same guy? Did he know himself?

His girl…

Well, she wasn’t that anymore. And he doubted she’d have consented to being that, anyway.

_I’m not a girl…_

No, no she wasn’t. She was so much more. But now, never his.

The thought drove him back onto the balcony, into the freezing, tinkling darkness of New York in January. The pain as his naked feet hit the icy deck was exquisite, and he relished it.

He deserved it.

Pain for pain. Did he ever not cause suffering to those who came too close? When had he last just given pure, unadulterated joy to anyone?

He’d failed Helena – as quasi-husband and father to her kid.

He’d failed Mingus – who hated the notoriety his dad’s fame brought.

He’d failed his family – who were so tired of being associated, branded with his notoriety, and who cared nothing for the expensive gifts he could now buy them all.

He’d failed his friends, all of them at least once. Norman tried to, and couldn’t, think of just one of his closest friends who’d never had to pull him out of some shit or another at least once.

He’d failed his fans, all these people who wanted a piece of him, a minute of his time. This thought was bitter as bile, and he laughed a little at the irony, swallowing back the nausea at the same time…

Fuck, not that. Groaning, Norman pressed his left hand to his eye. The skin here felt hot, even in the freezing cold. He stubbed out his cigarette with shaky fingers, staggered back inside.

No. Nonono.

He had to tell her. Had to. He just couldn’t fail another person, not her, not now.

Blind with pain he groped for the migraine pills on the counter, swallowed two and washed them down with water from the tap, grimacing.

She wouldn’t listen. He’d blown it, he just knew. And he didn’t have the words, the skill, to describe the terror he’d felt that night.

But even if it did no good, even if she never wanted to see him again, she had a right to know.

Stumbling a little he made his way over to the sofa and switched his Macbook on, then curled up on his side, hiding his face in his hands.

There was only one thing he could do. Show her everything, bare his soul. Let her see him for the coward that he was, see his life, this joke of an existence it had become.

Then she could judge him. Hate him for a reason, be glad she’d gotten away in time.

*

Lea had been ringing the doorbell for at least twenty minutes, shivering in the cold. She was about to give up, worried her hanging around outside his door would prompt one of the neighbors to call the police. That wouldn’t be the first time; Carmine had told her it was happening with increasing frequency.

Then, finally, the door buzzed open. She took the lift to his floor, heart beating like crazy somewhere in her throat. This was a stupid idea, why had she given in to that spur of a moment feeling of wanting to be with him, console him as she’d read the police report. It was 3 am for crying out loud. At least she could’ve waited for a more civilized time. But no, here she was.

And just like that all her nerves, her trepidation, any lingering resentment fled when she saw him standing in his doorway. As she walked down the hallway she took in his appearance and her heart twisted with worry.

His right hand on the door handle, more propping himself up than holding the door open. Left hand on the doorframe, holding on so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Face ghostly pale, eyes red and swollen, narrowed to slits against the half-light of the corridor’s nighttime illumination. Faded tee sweat-soaked and dirty, telling her he’d already been sick.

It was a painful déjà vu and Lea quickened her steps.

When she was about ten steps away he groaned and rested his head on the arm against the doorframe. Then, without a word, he let go of the door and disappeared inside.

“Shit…”

Even on that one muttered word, hardly audible as he retreated quickly into the direction of the bedroom Lea could hear the pain and despair. She hurried inside and closed the door behind her.

He was on his knees, hunched over the toilet by the time she got into the en-suite bathroom. Head resting on his crossed arms she could hear his ragged, panicky breathing. Then he moaned and lifted his head over the toilet bowl, retching.

Lea hunted around until she found a washcloth which she soaked under the cold tap. Then she dropped down by his side and put a hand soothingly between his shoulder blades. She could feel Norman quivering, feel him tense under her fingers as a new wave of nausea hit.

Brushing his hair to one side, tucking it behind his ear gently, Lea placed the washcloth on his neck. He shivered and his arms trembled as he held himself up over the bowl. Lea had a feeling that he’d spent a considerable part of the night in this position already, and that he was beyond exhausted. She put an arm around his chest and held him steady as much as she could when he retched again.

They stayed like this for a long while. Lea could feel him getting weaker, and got increasingly worried about the time it took for the nausea to abate. Finally Norman sank back, and she let him lean into her. His left hand came up and he pressed it against his temple with a sob.

“Oh Norman… you should’ve said you were hurting so much…”

“Didn’t want you t’come out of pity… didn’t think you’d come at all…. Sent you t’file cos…cos…”

He gagged once and Lea helped him sit up and lean forward, but nothing came up.

“You need to lie down in the dark, sitting here will just make you feel worse…”

He nodded and started to push himself up, reluctant to accept her help. When he straightened up he went a shade paler still and closed his eyes, and she quickly put her arms around him. Now he let her help, leaning into her with a sigh.

Lea got him settled in the darkened bedroom quickly, then went back into the bathroom and retrieved the washcloth from the floor and ran it under the cold tap. When she returned to the bedroom Norman had curled up on his side, hiding his face even from the trickle of light coming from the bathroom. Lea saw his shoulders shaking and realized with a pang that he was crying almost silently.

Sitting next to him on the bed she rested a hand gently on his shoulder. She still wasn’t sure what had even made her come here, and what good it could all bring, but right now he was hurting and sad, and she just couldn’t bear to let him suffer alone. After all, she was a doctor. But more than that, this man had stolen into her heart and she found it impossible to close off her feelings toward him.

“Honey, don’t cry… turn over, let me look at you…”

She didn’t think he would, but after a moment Norman rolled himself onto his back. His eyes were even redder now, and he regarded her with a look full of pain.

Lea wiped his face and neck with the cool cloth, and his eyes fluttered shut even as silent tears still kept escaping from under his lashes. She placed her hand against his face, and his own came up to take it and guide it to press down on his left eye. Norman sighed at the sensation of her cool fingers against the soreness caused by the metal in his eye socket.

“You came…” His voice was a mere whisper and his eyes stayed closed. “I wanted you to, but I got no right to ask anything of you… I blew it, again… doesn’t even matter I’m sorry. I never mean it, but all I ever do is cause pain… to everyone, to myself… now you…”

He gave a shaky sob. Lea put the cloth to one side and placed her left hand on his face as well, wiping away tears.

“Let’s worry about that later. Honey, I didn’t bring my kit… You got new pills, no?”

He nodded, glanced at her with one eye, then at the bathroom door. “Puked them back up…”

“Do they work, though? When they stay down?”

He gave a half-shrug. “When it’s not so bad… There’s something else the new doctor gave me. Haven’t tried them yet, he said they’re for emergencies…”

“Where are they?”

“Bathroom cabinet.”

He let go of her hand and Lea got up and went back into the bathroom. She opened the cabinet over the sink and saw the small bottle right away.  _Lioresal, rescue medication_ , it read. She took it back to the bedroom.

“This is good stuff. Problem is, you need to not have vomited for an hour before it’s any use taking them.”

“Yeah, I read the label…”

Lea thought. “You got any herbal teas? If we get your stomach to settle down you have a better chance not throwing up again…”

“Peppermint, I think? You don’t have to, y’know… stay and help…”

“I know I don’t have to,” she smiled down at him, remembering when he’d said the same thing to her, “but I want to.”

She bent down and pushed some strands of hair off his forehead. “Close your eyes and rest. I’ll be back with the tea in a tick.”

“Hmm…” He did as he was told and Lea went up one level to the kitchen. She found the tea and put the kettle on. Then she looked for a bucket, or basin, or something similar. She found a plastic basin under the sink, and when the water had boiled she made the tea, then carried both mug and basin down to Norman’s bedroom.

She stopped in the doorway and watched him for a moment. He had curled up on his side again, legs drawn almost to his chest, hands knotted together, resting on the pillow by his face. He looked so exhausted, so fragile, her heart ached.

A powerful surge of emotion coursed through Lea. What did she want? She’d been afraid of him when he’d attacked that paparazzi and had rounded on her, but she knew that that wasn’t all of Norman. Pushed beyond endurance something had snapped, and while that was very real, very much a part of his personality, what she’d seen before last night, and what she saw right before her now was much more the real Norman, if such a thing existed: vulnerable, a little helpless at times, and sweet, so sweet.

Something changed as she stood and watched him sleep. Lea suddenly got it. Norman’s life was not only different from anything she was used to. His sudden, unexpected fame had changed his everyday existence beyond recognition within a very short time. And what he’d had to endure this year – the break-in, the biting incident, the more and more insistent fan interest – had affected how well he could cope with stressful situations like the one he’d found himself in at the club.

Now he stirred, and Lea’s train of thought was interrupted. She quickly stepped over to the bed and put the basin and tea on the bedside table. He turned over, his eyes opened and for a moment he looked disoriented. Lea quickly sat down by his side and put a hand on his chest.

“You ok, honey? Feeling sick?”

Norman’s hand, overly warm, came to rest on hers. He swallowed a few times, took a deep breath, but then shook his head.

“Just m’head…”

“I brought the tea. And a basin, just in case…”

“Thanks.”

“Let’s sit you up so you can drink some. Also, you got some vomit on your shirt, shall I help you change?”

“Would you? Tees are in the drawers over there.”

When they had accomplished both tasks Norman lay back and closed his eyes again. Lea watched him for a moment to make sure the tea wasn’t going to make a reappearance. He was still pale and sweaty but he looked less sick. For a few minutes she let him rest, holding his hand in both of hers.

“You’re scared of me…”

It was a statement, not a question, and it came so suddenly Lea could just stare, lost for words. When she hadn’t said anything after a minute Norman opened his eyes. They were full of sadness again.

“I wouldn’t hurt you… I don’t know what that was… never done anything like it. He… that pap, he startled me, and he said… he said some awful things, about… about you and the girls… he called you my “pretty little whores”… but I didn’t want to hurt him, either, not really…”

Lea felt disgust welling up at the mention of what that photographer had said. How could anyone, pap or not, be so callous, so crass?

“I’m not scared, Norman.”

“Maybe you should be…”

She stared. He truly was a strange guy… First he told her he’d never hurt her, now he thought she should be scared of him?

“Honey… we gotta talk. I was going to leave all this until you feel better, but maybe this can’t wait…”

He looked at her then, fear clear as day on his face. Lea looked away. If this should have any chance of success she had to be hard now, not cave in and let him string her along just because she felt sorry for him.

“Norman, you have to talk to me. Tell me the truth. No hints, no insinuations. Don’t assume I know, and that I can guess the rest. I really don’t, and I can’t. Remember, this is totally new to me. I have no experience with any of it. My world is one of logic and science. Of facts. Not gossip and tabloids and concealment.” She took a deep breath. “Do you want me to trust you? Do you want this to work?”

She fixed him with her sternest, unblinking gaze. His eyes were filling with tears again but he nodded.

“Yes. I do want this to work… so much, you got no idea…”

“Then talk.”

“What… what do you need to know?”

“Do I need to be scared of you?”

There was a pause. “I don’t know… I really don’t. Ever since that… that incident at my house I’ve felt so… strange. Different… I’m so scared… and then the biting, and all these rumors, and people never leave me be for a minute… I just don’t know. It’s like I never got time to think… And, I can’t talk about it, it’s like it’s choking me… not even to you, and I really want to…”

He gave a small shudder and she took both his hands and started stroking them. When she spoke again her voice was gentle.

“Do you want me to tell you what I think?”

“Course... If you can help, make this go away…”

“You are traumatized, it might even be PTSD. You need professional help. This,” Lea placed her hand carefully against his bad eye, “has gotten so bad because you are beyond stressed, I’m sure of it. And it’ll only get worse on its own… Will you see a therapist?”

He hesitated but then nodded. “I’m scared...”

“I know, honey. But the alternative is much scarier…” She looked down and intertwined their fingers. “And you don’t have to do it alone.”

Lea fixed her eyes on his, beautiful and emerald blue, still uncertain, fearful, full of pain, and gave a little smile.

“If you want me to I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

*

His head hurts much less now, and sleep’s not far away. She’s curled up against his back, her left hand resting against his aching temple. The lights are off, and that’s such a relief.

She’d agreed to stay the night, and he’s so glad. He believes her, she’ll be there always now, stay with him through all this. She’ll help him fight his demons.

He’s used to the demons, he’s fought many in his life. But these ones aren’t just scary, they threaten to undo him utterly. Cause him to lose the most precious thing he’s had in a long time. A real person, a friend.

More.

Someone who sees him, who he is and who he wants to be. Who doesn’t care that he’s Norman Reedus.

That guy is him less and less, his to control hardly at all. More and more a product, a means to an end, making other people rich.

But with her by his side maybe he can just be himself again, a person he recognizes. That man he sees in his mind, lying next to her in his bed.


	12. Epilogue

“You ok babe?”

“Sure… just finding my sea legs…”

Lea held on to Norman as she swung her leg over the seat of the bike, staggering a little but then finding her balance. She pulled her helmet off with a sigh of relief. Riding with Norman would be fun soon, sure, but right now she was glad to have both feet firmly on the ground again.

Norman put the kickstand down, then got off the bike as well.

“Hello stranger.”

Norman, who had just pulled his own helmet off, wheeled around. Lea could see the delight on his face as he stared at the man who had just emerged from a jeep parked on the curb.

“Andy!”

Putting the helmet on the motorbike’s seat Norman bounded forward and caught the other man in a bear hug. When he finally pulled away he held on to the other man’s upper arms and looked at him intently.

“I had no idea you were back! What are you doing here?”

“We had that Q&A at the Smithsonian a few days ago, remember? You said on the phone last week you were coming down, so I thought I’d stop over too and surprise you.”

The man’s eyes traveled to Lea then and regarded her curiously. Lea noticed how blue his eyes were, and how friendly his gaze. Noticing where his friend was looking Norman turned and beckoned Lea closer with a smile.

“Andy, this is Lea. Lea, Andy Lincoln… he’s our star…”

Andy scoffed and extended his hand. Lea took it and he shook hers warmly. So this was Andy. Norman talked about him a lot, and what he said almost always sounded too good to be true. She was interested to get to know this man.

“We both know who the star is, mate… Nice to meet you, Lea. Norman’s mentioned you, of course… You moved to the States from London, right?”

“Yes. I lived there for eight years.”

“Let’s go inside, guys, before anyone spots us…”

Lea saw the worried look Andy threw Norman. She knew they were very good friends; no doubt Norman had told Andy some of what had happened recently. Then she glanced at Norman. He seemed a little tense, but was still smiling at Andy. Lea relaxed a little. They’d been in Georgia three days now, and so far this place seemed to have a soothing influence.

Andy motioned at the bike as Norman retrieved his helmet. “Aren’t you going to lock that away in the garage?”

“Nah. I wanna go out again later. Been way too long, I haven’t been on a bike by myself since December… hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it. And the weather is perfect today.”

They filed through the gate after Norman and walked up to the front door, then into the house. In the entranceway Lea turned to Andy.

“Would you like a hot drink?”

But Norman put a hand on her shoulder, then took the helmet she was still holding.

“I’ll make the drinks. You go through and gossip about me. Andy, what’re you drinking?”

“Americano?”

“Sure. White?” Andy nodded and Norman turned to Lea. “Latte, two shots?”

“Yes please.”

He smiled at her and walked off toward the kitchen while Lea and Andy continued into the living room. Andy stepped over to the patio doors looking out over the garden, and Lea joined him. Even after two nights here she still felt intimidated by the size of the garden, never mind the luxurious interiors of the house.

“It’s a nice property,” Andy said, then turned and surveyed the room. The furniture was sparse and apart from a few of Norman’s own photos there was nothing on the walls yet. “I haven’t been here since he moved in. It’s so much bigger than the old house… he’ll have to get some more stuff, else it’ll look empty, even for him… did you see the other house?”

“Only photos. Norman… he’s told me some of what’s happened…”

“It’s down to you that he’s finally getting help dealing with it…” Andy smiled at her. “Thank you.”

She smiled back, relieved to meet a friend of Norman’s she liked instantly, and who seemed to like her too. “I just hope it’ll work. He’s not told me much about what they’re doing, but he’s seen the therapist twice now…”

“You talking about the shrink you found me to fix my crazy head?”

Norman came into the room carrying a tray with three mugs, and Lea and Andy took theirs each. Lea mock slapped Norman on the arm but the then took a closer look at his face.

“Are you feeling ok? You’re really pale...”

He shrugged and walked over to the sofas with his own mug. “I just took a couple pills. The headache’s already going, it was early enough. And I promise not to puke on the carpet…”

Andy chuckled as he followed Norman, and Lea rolled her eyes. If he could still joke he was probably ok.

Norman sat down with his back to the windows and patted the seat next to him for Lea to sit down. Andy took an armchair opposite.

“How’s England? Gael and the kids doing well?”

“They are, cheers. It’s nice being home, though I didn’t miss all the rain.”

“Quite,” Lea grinned. “That I don’t miss at all.”

“You’re an A&E doc, aren’t you? Where did you work in London?”

“Guy’s and St Thomas’ Trust. And I did research at King’s.”

“She’s clever, is my doc…”

Norman’s hand came to rest on Lea’s in her lap, and she looked into his smiling eyes. It still gave her butterflies every time when he regarded her with that look full of affection.

“I’m very glad fate has brought you over here,” Andy said, and Lea looked at him. His eyes were on Norman and there was such a gentleness in them. “Seems like you’re really good for him…”

Norman returned his friend’s look, then glanced down at his hand still intertwined with Lea’s.

“You got no idea, man…”

“Oh, but I think I do.”

Lea’s eyes went from one man to the other. She liked Andy a lot already, for his candidness and the obvious affection between these two. Norman seemed more at ease and relaxed around this particular friend than she’d ever seen him.

She made a mental note as those thoughts struck her. What with the therapy, crazy fans and all the unknown challenges still before them friends and allies would be essential. Watching Norman relax into the friendly chat with Andy Lea knew that this place, and the friends that surrounded her man down here in Georgia would be the perfect environment for him to start healing – and for them to start a life together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, everyone! There'll definitely be a sequel sometime in the new year...


End file.
